Friday, January 31, 2014

Fanny Mail: A Time Machine Question

Hi, Kiddies. As you know, I've been receiving quite a lot of letters and emails regarding my exciting new Time Machine experiment. Late last night I received an email from Edward. Edward writes: "Grandmother, I read about your experiment with Buddy, and I was wondering if you've tried to send other things through the time machine. Perhaps certain relatives have certain evidence they'd like to send far into the future."

Well, Edward, so far I've only tried it on cats. I'm not quite ready to test it on anything more valuable. There is still plenty of work to do before further testing commences. First I need to locate Buddy. He is the only one so far to have successfully navigated the journey through time, and I need to see if he's able to make the return trip.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Fanny Mail: An Allergic Fan's Request

Hi, Kiddies. Today I received an email from Charlotte Gooseberry of Corvallis, Oregon. Charlotte writes: “Dear Grandmother Winsome, I’ve been following your blog closely for some time now, and decided to write to you after seeing your recent posts on allergies and time travel. I’ve recently discovered that I am allergic to cats. In one sense, this comes as a great comfort, because I finally understand the cause of my swollen eyes, my constant sneezing, and the rash on various parts of my body. On the other hand, I’m sad because I don’t wish to part with my twenty-one cats. Then I realized you might have the perfect solution. I was wondering if I could drop off my cats at Winsome Headquarters, and you could send them into the future using your new machine. Certainly, there will be a cure for cat allergies within the next several years. And once I take it, I can reunite with Furfuls and the rest of my lovelies. Would that be possible? If not, do you know of some other place I can dump the cats? I’m trying to look on the bright side of this, and, as my friend pointed out, one good thing is that I’ll have a lot more space in my studio apartment.”

Well, Charlotte, I certainly appreciate you being a loyal reader of my blog. It tickles me pink to know that there are people out there like you reading each entry. So, thank you. I’ve been getting a lot of messages lately about my Time Machine experiment. Regarding your request, I do enjoy the thought of sending so many cats into the future. However, at this stage, I’m not yet ready to send groups. I’m still working at discovering Buddy’s current location in time. And I know you’re not going to want to wait much longer. It’s important that you get rid of those cats now, so that you can begin to enjoy clear vision, clear nasal passages and clear skin. I know there are plenty of woods in your area of Oregon where cats could be left. And, who knows, they might be able to work together to survive. The important thing is that you’ll be able to enjoy yourself more. Keep reading the blog, and stay in touch, Sweetie!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Grandmother’s Breaking News

I just read this alarming statistic. In the past decade, the literacy rate for Mexican maids has doubled, going from 1% to 2%. I hope we don’t see this trend continue.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Grandmother Provides Some Timely Help

Hi, Kiddies. As you know, I've been incredibly busy lately with the Time Machine experiment. This morning I was making some crucial calculations, trying to pinpoint Buddy's current location in time, when I was distracted by a sudden shrill sound. After a brief investigation, I found that it was Cindy sneezing. As I hadn't seen her lately, I took that moment to talk to her about contributing her artwork to the blog. She happily agreed to post her art projects.

I then returned to work, because of course this experiment is important to us all. But Cindy sneezed again. I decided to set aside my calculations for the moment, and take this opportunity to try out my home-made allergy testing center.

Grandmother Winsome's Allergy Testing Center

Monday, January 20, 2014

Fanny Mail: A Timely Question

This weekend I received an email from Veronica Schwab of Alliance, Ohio. Veronica writes: "I’ve been following your blog for some time now, and I just love the photo of Buddy, the Time-Traveling Cat. I have a cat of my own, but no time machine. Could you tell me how you built yours?"

Well, Sweetie, I don’t want to reveal the specifics just yet. Not until I get the official patent. But I will say that my initial design with an old blender didn’t quite work out. After much testing on various cats, the only benefit was a wonderful Halloween costume for Cindy.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Cindy's Art Projects

Hi, Kiddies! I haven't yet had the chance to track down Cindy and speak with her about contributing her artwork to the blog. But I did find another wonderful drawing under her bed today, and wanted to share it with you.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Buddy, The Time-Traveling Cat

Last spring I received a message from a loyal Fanny Game fan, with a photo of her cat, offering it for use in my experiments. At that time her cat, Buddy, was not right for what I was doing, but I had Jason keep his information on file. And now my latest project has reached a crucial phase where Buddy qualified as the ideal test subject. And, Kiddies, I’m delighted to tell you that the experiment appears to be a success.

This was the last image of Buddy that my surveillance camera caught.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Cindy's Art Projects

Hi, Kiddies. Cindy's regular posts about cheering up the elderly became a very popular item on my blog last year, and several fans have written to me recently asking for more Cindy contributions. As you know, we here at Winsome Headquarters did not make New Year’s resolutions this year. But never being one to disappoint the fans, I went into Cindy's room to see what she might want to contribute. She wasn't home, but I found this wonderful drawing under her bed. I'm so pleased to learn that Cindy has an artistic temperament, and I’m certain she’ll be eager to contribute more of her artwork in the coming weeks.

Monday, January 6, 2014

A Fan’s Request For More Cindy

Today I received an email from Estelle Steadman, a longtime fan from Indianapolis. Estelle writes, “Dear Grandmother Winsome, I so enjoyed reading Cindy’s last Quarterly Report. It brought back many fond memories of the past few months. As you know, reading Cindy’s posts is one of the few pleasures I have to look forward to each week. And so I was wondering what Cindy’s New Year’s resolution is this year. I noticed that she did not post anything on Saturday.”

Estelle, it's delightful to hear from you again. We here at Winsome Headquarters have been quite busy, and we did not make New Year’s resolutions this year. But I will speak with Cindy about what she can contribute in 2014. Don’t you worry – I'm certain she'll be eager to make regular contributions.