Monday, February 29, 2016

A Leap Year Message

Happy eleventh birthday, Ty Washington! And congratulations on winning your latest appeal.

It was almost exactly two years ago that Ty first contacted me, seeking legal advice. You can read his letter and my response by clicking here.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Early to bed, early to rise keeps you on the same schedule as all the lovely young schoolchildren.

Monday, February 15, 2016

World War II Victory!

What a wonderful weekend, Kiddies! Saturday we held our World War II reenactment, and it was a lot of fun for both participants and spectators. Cindy helped by setting up the Jews at one end of the field and preheating the ovens. As the bleachers reached capacity, the Nazis, in precise military formation, marched onto the field. At one o'clock sharp, I blew the whistle, and the Nazis charged and defeated the Jewish army. One of the spectators told me it was the swiftest reenactment he had ever witnessed.

The cast and I went out drinking afterward to celebrate. The only person who couldn't make it was Jacob Goldstein, who was injured during the performance. Caught up in the excitement, he tripped over one of the cardboard Jews and banged his head. The rest of us had a fine time and were out quite late. I was tickled pink when one of the young, blond soldiers got a little fresh with me, and he and I then spent a wonderful Valentine's Day together. I will have to remember to contact Jacob to retrieve his Nazi uniform.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Where Are You, Glenn?

I'm back from the bowling alley. Glenn wasn't there. That's just as well, since I don't need him... or any man. Happy Valentine's Day!

Jane's Valentine's Day

I called Glenn to remind him I don't need him. He didn't answer, so I left a message. Happy Valentine's Day!

Jane's Social Work: Valentine's Day Edition

I went to the women's center and grabbed a few of the girls to go out to celebrate. After all, who needs men? Drinking with the girls was a perfect way to celebrate this holiday. It's a shame they had to get back so early, but I can continue to celebrate on my own here at Winsome Headquarters. I found a large cache of special alcohol in the basement. Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 8, 2016

Fanny Mail: Another Request For Cindy

Hi, Kiddies! I received a new letter from Mr. Matthews of the Birch Street Nursing Home. Mr. Matthews writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I wanted to thank you again for sending Cindy to us over the Christmas holiday. She provided those of us here with a tremendous amount of much-needed cheer. It sure would be swell to have her back here on Valentine's Day if she doesn't already have other plans."

Mr. Matthews, it's my pleasure to send Cindy to you. She's going to be very busy this week finishing making Jews for Saturday's World War II reenactment. But she will be free on Valentine's Day, and I'm sure she'll be delighted to spend the holiday with you at the Birch Street Nursing Home.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

World War II Update

Kiddies, I couldn't be more excited! Today we had our final dress rehearsal for the World War II reenactment, and it went really well. Although the Jewish army was greatly outnumbered, Cindy assures me that there will be plenty more ready by Saturday. The only misstep of the day came when one of the Nazis got carried away and destroyed one of the Jews. I had to remind her that this was just a rehearsal, and to save that energy for Saturday's performance.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Spread The Word: Super Bowl Edition

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you are hosting a Super Bowl party, rather than watch the dull halftime show, replay your favorite episodes of "Grandmother Winsome's Variety Minute."

Monday, February 1, 2016

World War II Update

Preparations for the upcoming World War II reenactment are going smoothly. Cindy finished making the first batch of Jews this weekend, and they came out great. She worked right up until bedtime last night and used all the cardboard from that bin. Fortunately, after lunch today I found an even larger pile of cardboard in the basement of a nearby building, and Cindy is out retrieving it now. This should be enough to complete the Jewish army, and with Cindy working hard every day after school, it will be ready in time for the reenactment. Cindy says she may get her friend Allie to help out.