Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, whenever you watch a sporting event on television, keep your laptop computer open. Then when the game breaks for a series of commercials, rather than getting angry, you can watch your favorite episodes of Grandmother Winsome's Variety Minute until play resumes.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Edward's "For Your Information"

Wearing your Santa Claus outfit makes it easier to convince children it is safe to accept a ride from you.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Away From Winsome Headquarters

Greetings from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. The Mexican maid just called to alert me that the lights have stopped flickering at Winsome Headquarters, so it seems the alien surveillance there is at an end. I'm heading home, Kiddies!

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Away From Winsome Headquarters

This is Grandmother Winsome reporting from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. Earlier this morning, I recalled the combination to the old safe I'd hidden beneath the floorboards in the back closet. In the safe I found a large manila envelope containing special papers and documents. One of those papers was a hastily written note listing the location where a man was being secretly held until I could question him about an important matter. But unfortunately many years passed and I never got back to him, and doubt he would be of much use to me now.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home I had a little trouble with Mr. Matthews. He said he caught Mrs. Kunkle's disease and had to touch me seven times a day, and since I am there only once a week, he had to touch me forty-nine times to make up for the other days. While he was doing that, Mrs. Kunkle came in on her rounds to touch Mr. Matthews' light switch and window. Later Mrs. Kunkle explained to me that her disorder is not contagious and that if Mr. Matthews claims he caught it from her, he is pulling my leg.

Spread The Word

Joining several local organizations whatever they might beprovides you with new opportunities to spread the word about Grandmother Winsome and the wonderful Grandmother's Fanny Game blog.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

Remember, Kiddies, a pink handkerchief in a man's back pocket means he is a fan of Grandmother Winsome, and so is a good catch.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Away From Winsome Headquarters

This is Grandmother Winsome reporting from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. I have an update, Kiddies. The power is back on at Winsome Headquarters, so the Mexican maid is able to do her vacuuming and other chores. She told me, however, that the lights still flicker from time to time, so the aliens may still be present. I've ordered the Mexican maid to spend the nights on the roof, watching for any extraterrestrial activity, and to alert me of any developments. I instructed her to cover herself in pine tar to blend in with the shingles.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Away From Winsome Headquarters

This is Grandmother Winsome reporting from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. I will be conducting Winsome Family business here until the possible alien surveillance of Winsome Headquarters is finished. Flickering lights a couple of days ago warned me of a potential alien presence. It's a good thing the cryogenic tanks in the basement are powered by a separate generator, for the Mexican maid just told me the electricity went out completely this morning, and has not come back on. I wouldn't want those cats defrosting prematurely. My decision to leave Winsome Headquarters has proved to be a wise one, and I'm pleased to be a safe distance from the aliens.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Away From Winsome Headquarters

Kiddies, to avoid a possible alien abduction, I am conducting Winsome Family business from one of my auxiliary buildings. I'll be here until I am certain that any alien surveillance of Winsome Headquarters is concluded. It has been a while since I've used this building, and from what I can tell from my first day here, the area's population has decreased in the intervening years. Yet the cat population has grown. Also, cuts in the town's budget have resulted in there being only one police car. Those factors mean it will be easy to conduct some research while I'm here.