Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Fanny Mail: A Message From Manhattan

Kiddies, I wanted to share with you another letter from that box of Fanny Mail, this one from Janice Singer of Manhattan, New York. Janice writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, due to some poor investments resulting in financial difficulties, my husband and I decided to put our two daughters up for adoption. We promised them we wouldn't send them to separate homes, but found that no one was willing to take both of them. So I sewed the two together, billing them as one set of conjoined twins. And then we got many offers. I just wanted to write to you so you could pass this on to any of your fans with similar troubles."

Winsome Family History: March 21, 1963

Kiddies, it was fifty-five years ago that Harry "Pigeon" McCoy finished his short stint as a guard at Alcatraz, where he eliminated a potential threat to the Winsome Family. While there, he also learned security measures that would prove instrumental the following year when we designed the first Winsome Family Headquarters.

Monday, March 19, 2018

A Message From Grandmother Winsome

City bus drivers can get lonely, particularly during the night shift. So sit up front and read them the latest Grandmother's Fanny Game posts.

Fanny Mail: A Worthy Gathering

Kiddies, moments ago I received a delightful email from William Hensley of Cambridge, Massachusetts. William writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, Saturday I attended a gathering where people got up and read from the works of their favorite writers. One guy grabbed my attention when he announced he'd be reading from the works of Grandmother Winsome. When he was finished, I met up with him in the kitchen, and he told me all about the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog. Now I am a fan too, and I have a date this Friday with the man who opened my eyes to Grandmother Winsome."

Wonderful, Sweetie! You two have a fabulous time this Friday, and don't be surprised if there are a few new blog posts to talk about.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

For The Children

To my younger fans, break up the school day by checking the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog for updates. Just print out this handy permission slip and show it to your teacher at least once a day.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Be sure to stretch before engaging in certain activities. You don't want to get a cramp when running from the authorities.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you need a small knife for a job, take a steak knife from a restaurant. Then, once the job is complete, go ahead and return it. The restaurant's dishwasher will scour it clean at high temperatures, and the knife will pass through the hands of many other people.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Grandmother Winsome Bumper Sticker Giveaway

Kiddies, the Mexican maid made a mistake when she placed the new order for Grandmother Winsome bumper stickers, and now there are more here than I need. So if you'd like an "I'm following Grandmother Winsome" bumper sticker, just send me a message at and I'll get one out to you. Because of her error, the maid will be covering the cost of shipping.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

As your birthday approaches, sign your boyfriend up to receive catalogues from all your favorite stores. Then, when you're at his place, you can casually pick up a catalogue and point out the items you'd like to own, and say, "Aren't those lovely?"

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work at a grief counselor's office, make a recording of your favorite Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living to play for patients while they're on hold.