Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Cindy Visits Mrs. Chang

Today, when I went to the cemetery for Mrs. Chang's monthly grave cleaning, I found a lot of gum stuck to the headstone. It took me most of the afternoon to get it all scraped off, but now her stone looks as good as new. Happy birthday, Mrs. Chang!

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work at a bakery, write "Follow Grandmother Winsome" in pink on all the display cakes.

Friday, June 16, 2017

A Message From Grandmother Winsome

Not all cries for help should be answered.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Even in summer, be sure to take a sweater with you if you travel by plane. It often gets cool in the aircraft cabin.

And, Kiddies, don't forget your peanuts.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, there is something to be said for hiding evidence in plain sight. So why not make a necklace out of the finger bones?

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Jane's Tips For Social Interactions

Be nice to barbacks, for they are tomorrow's bartenders.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Edward's Business Adventures

What a great weekend. I took out the ice cream truck for its first trip of the season. It's hard to believe this will be my fourth year of serving delicious treats to deserving children. I decided to revisit some of my favorite parks from previous years, and the children there were excited to see me again. They came running as soon as I arrived. This promises to be a fun summer. And for those parents who have entrusted their illegal immigrant children to me, don't worry, this does not mean I will be neglecting the Traveling Babysitting Service. I left those kids in my associate's camper, and on days when I'm not too tired, I will check in on them after I've done my ice cream route.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

If your date shows up without a gift, don't criticize him. Simply order the most expensive item on the menu.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! When you call a radio talk show, be sure to introduce yourself as a dedicated follower of Grandmother Winsome.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Fanny Mail: A Fan's Unexpected Boon

Kiddies, I was going through my Fanny Mail, and came across a delightful letter from Susan Steele of Raleigh, North Carolina. Susan writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I wanted to share with you something that happened to me today, and to tell you why I am so thankful that I had purchased an 'I'm following Grandmother Winsome' bumper sticker. I had just had a little drink and was speeding through a school zone, so as not to get stuck behind one of those slow buses, when a police car pulled me over. I was certain I'd get a ticket, but the officer spotted my Grandmother Winsome bumper sticker and ended up giving me just a verbal warning. It seems there are Grandmother's Fanny Game fans everywhere!"

Thank you for sharing, Susan! I'm tickled pink that the bumper sticker proved so handy for you. And for those fans who have not yet purchased an "I'm following Grandmother Winsome" bumper sticker, there are still some available.