Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

A large fire will draw not only the local firefighters, but firemen from the surrounding districts, men you probably haven't seen before. So pick a nice spot close to the fire where they are all certain to see you, and chances are good you'll have a date before the fire is even put out.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If the air quality in your neighborhood is bad due to a nearby forest fire, wearing a respirator mask will not raise any suspicion. The mask will hide much of your face, so you can go about your business without fear of being recognized.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Winsome Family History: November 12, 2013

It was five years ago today that I noticed that Cindy had gone missing. Fanny Game fans throughout the world soon pitched in to help safely bring her back to Winsome Headquarters. Perhaps one day Cindy will be able to recover those memories and tell us where she was for those two weeks.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you are hanging a banner from a freeway bridge welcoming home a soldier, hang a second banner telling him to follow Grandmother's Fanny Game.

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I conducted a new experiment on the patients. Their breath was never good, but lately it's gotten much worse. Sometimes it is so bad that I have to hold my nose while they complain. This is especially true with Mrs. Patterson when she shouts about her missing possessions. Most people brush their teeth to keep their breath from smelling, but I know the patients there don't like to use toothpaste or mouthwash, for I've never seen any in the bathrooms. So I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home early today, and created a special potion in my basement laboratory to give them with their morning medicine. I used supplies that I brought from home, mixing together toothpaste, mint leaves, cinnamon, baking soda, flowers, and crushed peppermint candies in a large bowl of mouthwash. This is what I gave them to wash down their medicine. By mealtime, I noticed an improvement. Another successful experiment!

Friday, November 9, 2018

Fanny Mail: Election Results

Kiddies, I was tickled pink to receive this email from Lydia Gomez of San Francisco, California. Lydia writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I work for the elections department here in San Francisco. It's been a busy week, counting mail-in ballots and so on, and I just wanted to let you know that, although you weren't running for any office, three voters in the area wrote in your name for justice for the Court of Appeals Division 1. If you want to send them thank-you notes, their names are Nadine Jordan, Kim Tang and Oliver Tannenbaum. I can send you their addresses if you'd like."

Thank you, Lydia! And thank you, Nadine, Kim and Oliver, for your support.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you plan on ditching a car in a pond, first be aware of how rainy it has been in the area. While it might seem safe now, water levels change with the seasons. You'll want to be sure that if the water level drops later, the car will still be hidden from view.

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Fanny Mail: Important Car Rental Information

Kiddies, I just received a delightful email from Ann Becker. Ann writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I wanted to thank you for some wonderful advice you once gave me, for it came into play again. My husband and I began our special trip Tuesday morning. As we were picking up the rental car from the airport, I was reminded of your advice. You said, 'Never accept a free upgrade to an SUV, because it's too easy for people to see into the back.' And on this trip I most certainly did not want anyone seeing what I was transporting, so I demanded a car with a trunk. Well, traveling alone always makes me nervous, even now when I am the happiest I've been in years, so I just took two sedatives before my return flight, and wanted to make sure to send this message before I fall asleep."

Thanks, Ann! I am delighted that my advice could come in handy a second time.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Spread The Word

If you run a hotel, make the Wi-Fi password "Followgrandmothersfannygame." That way, every time a guest requests the password, you're spreading the word. Also, set the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog as the homepage for all hotel computers.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

It can be difficult meeting a worthwhile man. One place women might not think to look is a hotel. If your local hotel has a conference room, business men will gather there to discuss their company's new projects. Many of these men are single and eager to meet interesting women. Hang around the hotel lobby or bar until you find a man that suits you. And if the hotel also has a restaurant, it will be that much easier for the man to buy you a nice meal.