Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures

I took the ice cream truck on the road early this year because I read that the cicadas are out in full force in certain states. Right now I am in South Carolina, and you wouldn't believe the noise these insects make. You couldn't hear even a dozen children screaming over this racket. It was certainly worth the trip. Next stop: Georgia.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Things continue to be good with both Mrs. Patterson and Mr. Tanaka, the subjects of my last two experiments. Now I'm toying with an idea for my next experiment at the Birch Street Nursing Home. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But is it? One idea I have is to withhold breakfast from half the patients each Saturday and see how it affects their poker game. If the old saying is correct, then they will make more mistakes than the group that gets breakfast. Before committing to this plan, I'll think more about it at school next week.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, wearing a hat will help obscure your features and keep hairs from being left at the scene. But because of possible security cameras, you'll want to get rid of that hat. One way to dispose of the hat is to go to a hockey game, and when the star player scores his third goal, throw it onto the ice where it will get mixed up with hundreds of other hats thrown by fans in celebration of the hat trick.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I conducted two successful experiments recently at the Birch Street Nursing Home, and today decided to take a break and focus on poker. The patients were happy to have me at the poker table for the entire day this time, especially Mrs. Henley, who outplayed me on a high-stakes hand near the end of the afternoon. I had gone all in on three queens, but Mrs. Henley had a full house. Even though I lost my earnings for the day, I had a wonderful time.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work as an astronaut, put an "I'm following Grandmother Winsome" bumper sticker on your space ship, and leave a few behind on the next planet you visit for anyone else who might come along.

And for any fan who has run out of bumper stickers, I just found a box of them here at Winsome Headquarters. Drop me a line with your address and the number you need.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

My treatment worked! According to the data collection forms Mrs. Henley handed me this morning at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mr. Tanaka has stopped scratching that irritated spot under his chin. I did notice, however, that the skin there is now a different color from the rest of his neck, so I offered to even it out for him by using my machine again. But he said he liked it as it is.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you've just moved to a new town and are curious which activities you need to be secretive about in the area, do not call the police directly to inquire. Though that might be quicker, it is better to take the extra time to do the research yourself. Local authorities tend to be suspicious of new individuals anyway, and you don't want to lend more credence to their assumptions.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I removed the final problematic layer of skin from under Mr. Tanaka's chin. That should do the trick, but this coming week's data collection forms will let me know for sure. Mr. Tanaka didn't squirm as much this time, so we were able to complete the procedure quickly and get back upstairs to join the poker game.

An Important Message From Jane

If you find yourself on a jury and are able to offer sentencing recommendations to the judge, always argue for the maximum sentence. Since men refuse to honor their commitments when they get out of prison, it is best to keep them in there as long as possible.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, while I understand wanting to have your getaway vehicle ready to pull out, parking like this might draw unwanted attention to your vehicle, by both the authorities and irritated neighbors.