Fanny Mail: A Question About Feelings

Hi, Kiddies! I am always tickled pink to answer letters from fans. This weekend I received a letter from Ivy Lee of Monterey Park, California.

Ivy writes, “Dear Grandmother Winsome, I always feel bad when I hit someone with my car. But today’s little mishap was certainly due to no fault of mine. I made a right turn, and the old man was just standing there in the middle of the street. So of course I hit him. Yet I still feel bad. How do I put an end to these uncomfortable feelings so that I can get on with my day?”

Ivy, I think a lot of people feel guilty about things over which they have no control. Often these feelings pass on their own. But of course they don’t pass quickly enough. I find that a little whiskey does the trick. You might even try drinking at the start of the day, before you go out. That way, you may be able to avoid bad feelings altogether.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 24)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I took the leftover sweets from my last-day-of-school picnic to the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home because some of them told me they're not provided with enough dessert there.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 23)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I told Mrs. Beaumont she might be reincarnated as a giraffe.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 22)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I painted all nine of Mrs. Shimshack's toenails a bright pink.

A Tip From Edward

To lessen the chance of any escapes, paint your windows shut.  Then, to avoid any suspicion, simply take a thin black marker and add a line where the window meets the sill. That way, everything will appear normal to any busybodies who happen by.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 21)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I told Mrs. Geffner that blue is a pretty color for hair.

A Message From Jane

We need to protect endangered species, particularly the ones that would provide us with beautiful fur coats. For example, if there were more snow leopards in the world, then it wouldn’t be as difficult for us to buy full-length coats made from their gorgeous furs. Help lift restrictions on fashion. Protecting animals helps us all.

Fanny Mail: A Relationship Question

Today I received an email from Hector Rodriguez.

Hector writes: “My girlfriend likes to leave the lights on when we make love. But that makes it much more difficult for me to fantasize that she’s my mother. How do I convince her to keep the lights out, and to say, ‘That’s a good boy, that’s a good boy’ when I please her?”

Hector, just tell her what you like. In my experience, being forward about one’s wishes always works best. And if the person doesn’t respond well, then you know she’s not the right one for you.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 20)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I visited Mrs. Chang at the Birch Street Nursing Home on Mother’s Day. Her family couldn’t make it, because they were busy going white water rafting.

A Tip From Edward

When girl scouts come to your door, it’s polite to invite them in to try some of your own cookies.