Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you're a dentist, instead of pumping bad music into the reception area, make a recording of yourself reading the latest Grandmother's Fanny Game blog posts, which you then can play on a loop for those waiting.

Monday, August 14, 2017

A Message From Grandmother Winsome

If you're stuck in traffic, Kiddies, do not despair. As long as you have an "I'm following Grandmother Winsome" bumper sticker on your car, that time spent in traffic is not time wasted because you'll be helping to spread the word.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Fan Photo

 The cat won't hang itself, Kiddies.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Grandmother Winsome's Lip Reading Course

Kiddies, today I completed my intensive course on lip reading. I encourage you all to take a similar course, for it can be beneficial to know what people are saying when they're whispering or when they believe they're outside of earshot. However, I was surprised to learn that avoiding having your own lips read was not covered by the course. So let me fill in that gap by offering a few free tips. If you're a sports fan, like I am, you are probably already aware that you can cover your mouth whenever saying anything you might not want to share with your opponents. That is the easiest way to avoid having your lips read, but use this method judiciously, as it may suggest to those watching that you're trying to hide something. Another option is to speak as a ventriloquist does, with as little movement of the mouth as possible. While that could mean taking a second course, it would be worth the investment in the long run. A third option is to have some code words with your associates. That way, anyone reading your lips will be confused and thrown off the trail.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Spread The Word

Kiddies, this morning I received an email from a long-time fan who told me he was just promoted at work, and now has ten people reporting to him. I congratulated him, then offered him this tip on spreading the word: Be sure to order those under you to follow Grandmother's Fanny Game. And start each board meeting by reading aloud the latest blog post to all the stakeholders in the room.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Grandmother Winsome's Coffee Shop Tip

Good morning, Kiddies! Coffee shops have become so popular that people now must leave their names when giving their orders. While I understand not wanting to give the barista your real name because of safety concerns, I caution you against using the name Grandmother Winsome, because others in the coffee shop may be disappointed when they learn that I'm not really there. Instead, use one of the many aliases that the Winsome Family has discarded. For a list of some available aliases, click here.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures

The ice cream business is booming. Today I was in a largely Hispanic neighborhood. I had picked up a little Spanish from my work in protecting illegal immigrant children. "Tengo miedo" means "I'm frightened." And it turns out "No" means the same in Spanish as it does in English. But I haven't yet learned the Spanish words for the various ice cream flavors, so I had each child step into the truck one at a time to point to the specific flavor he desired.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work in parking enforcement, when leaving tickets on illegally parked cars, also leave a note letting the drivers know that you don't ticket cars that have "I'm following Grandmother Winsome" bumper stickers.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Exciting News, Kiddies!

A new study by several professionals in the medical field shows that following Grandmother Winsome reduces anxiety levels in all patients.