Sunday, May 22, 2011

Family Fun

Here is a possible card idea for later. In the meantime, we still have several of the first four cards available for sale. And we are hard at work on the next batch of four cards.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Grandmother Winsome's Variety Minute Episode 4: Fanny Mail #1

I am so pleased to announce that our fourth episode is ready for your viewing pleasure.  (Some of you might be wondering why the fourth episode is the first to be posted.)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The First Four Grandmother's Fanny Game Greeting Cards

Hi, kiddies.  Here are photos I took of the first four Grandmother's Fanny Game greeting cards.  The inside of each card is blank, so that you can write whatever delicious message you desire.  We still have some available for sale.  They are $3 each.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

So You Went And Had A Baby. Now What?

Well, there are many things one must do after having a baby.  The first thing is to name it.  This is important, because the baby will keep its name until at least the age of 18.  And when you yell at it, you want it to know just who you mean. 

First decide whether to give it a boy's name or a girl's name.  How about Jack?  Or Charles?  Or Chuck?  One doesn't meet enough Chucks these days. For girls, why not choose Madeline? One can't go wrong with the name Madeline.

Next, babies require a lot of work.  One thing a new parent will notice almost immediately is that the baby cries.  Loudly.  This may require some soundproofing of the child's room, so as not to disturb any other inhabitants of the house, including the dogs.  Babies don't stick to a normal sleep schedule, and so without soundproofing, its parents could be woken as early as 5 a.m.

A baby requires clothing, especially if the parent plans on taking it out anywhere.  The problem is that babies grow rather quickly.  And any clothing purchased will soon be outgrown, necessitating the purchase of more clothing.  This can become very expensive very quickly.  You might ask yourself if your baby is worth all that expense.  Well, there are some alternatives.

The first, and best option is to see if any friends or relatives have baby clothes that their babies have already outgrown.  Perhaps they'd be willing to donate those clothes.  Ask them to wash the clothes first.  Handling someone else's clothing is rather disgusting, but having it cleaned helps at least a little.  Another option is to pin a piece of cloth around the baby.  Use safety pins to hold the cloth on.  Be sure not to stick the pin through the baby's flesh as you fasten it, for this will only cause the baby to cry and annoy everyone.  If a piece of cloth is unavailable, a plastic bag will suffice.  It's best to reduce, reuse and recycle, so use a bag from a store rather than purchasing bags.  Everyone will be pleased by the environmentally conscious baby.

Now a parent might be wondering, "Okay, I've named it and put a bag on it, but how do I make money with this thing?"  Good question.  There are many ways to make some money with a new baby.  One idea is to rent it out as a prop to film companies.  Many films have scenes with babies.  Where do those babies come from?  That's right - from parents like you.  Be sure it's a legitimate film, not a porn or a snuff film.  While a snuff film may bring a parent a lot of money, it will also eliminate the possibility of future film work for the baby, and so no further paychecks.

There are other ways to make money with your new baby.  Be creative.  And enjoy parenthood.

Welcome To Grandmother Winsome's Blog

Hi, kiddies.  This is Grandmother Winsome, and I just want to welcome you all to my blog.  As some of you are aware, I recently started my own greeting card company (with the help of a couple of boys), called Grandmother's Fanny Game Greeting Cards.  So far I've released four cards.  I have many still available for sale, for those who are interested.  (The very first card is pictured on this blog entry.)  The cards came out wonderfully, and I'm now hard at work on the next batch of cards.

I'm also very excited to announce my new program, which will be available to view here and on You Tube.  It's titled Grandmother Winsome's Variety Minute, and on this show I will offer advice on a variety of topics.  There will also be lots of other treats and surprises, so stay tuned.

I hope everyone who reads this will click "Follow" because I am pleased to be able to help so many people.