Monday, August 15, 2016

Fanny Mail: A Question About Nomenclature

Kiddies, earlier this afternoon I received an email from Isis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Isis writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I've been in the stripping business for more than three decades, and I've never had any trouble attracting customers. Now suddenly I'm not getting as much work. And the few customers I do get are lousy tippers. My friend Lexi tells me there is a new terrorist group calling itself ISIS, and that is the cause of my troubles. She suggested I change my name to avoid any association with them. I've been around a lot longer than this terrorist group, and if anyone should change names, it's them. I've put a lot of money into my career, and my name is embroidered in many of my outfits. Do you think I should change my name?"

Well, Isis, your name is quite pretty, and while I understand your not wishing to part with it, it is always handy to have at least one or two other aliases available to you. You are welcome to any of the aliases that I no longer use. Good possibilities for you include Tulip, Jasmine DeCup or Mistress Ingrid. Or, if you'd prefer to stick with mythology, you could always choose the name of another goddess. How about Athena, or Venus, or even Hera? This also gives you an opportunity to try a new look, develop a new stage persona with different outfits. And when the silly trouble in the Middle East passes, you could always go back to using Isis.

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