Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Grandmother Winsome's Tip For Wednesday

Homeless people make cheap babysitters.  Just don't let them in your house, because they might be tempted to steal some of your valuables.  Instead, take your children out to them.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Grandmother Winsome's Tip For Tuesday

Having a few drinks before bed makes it easier to fall asleep.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Grandmother Winsome's Update For Saturday

A lot of folks are struggling financially these days.  But guess what costs only three dollars?  That's right, my wonderful Grandmother's Fanny Game greeting cards.  I'm hard at work on the next batch of four cards, but in the meantime the first four are still available.  Keep in touch with friends and family by sending Grandmother's Fanny Game greeting cards.

And because times are tough, here is another tip for saving money:

Make your own pillows with feathers you find on the ground.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Grandmother Winsome's Update For Friday

Hi, kiddies.  I wanted to let you know that I've looked at the footage that we shot for Episode 3 of my wonderful program, "Grandmother Winsome's Variety Minute," and it's quite good.  I am pleased to announce that Episode 3 will be finished soon and posted here on my blog.

Some of you might be thinking to yourselves, "Now wait a minute - I'm fairly certain that I've already watched three episodes."  Well, indeed you have.  You've watched Episodes 1, 4 and 5.  Things sometimes get a bit out of order around here, but that will soon be corrected, as we're going to finish shooting Episode 2 very soon.  And then we'll proceed in order from there, I can assure you.

In the meantime, here is a tip to help you save money in these troubled economic times:

Rather than buy your child a musical instrument, teach him how to whistle.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Grandmother Winsome's Tip For Better Living For Wednesday

Keep a certain area of the house off-limits to children.  That way you'll always have a place to go to relax, a place that will be quiet and clean.  It's a good idea to include your bedroom in this off-limits section, so children won't wake you in the middle of the night or early in the morning.  You might also consider including the dining room, in case you decide to invite friends to dinner.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Saturday's Tip For Better Living

Making your child donate some of his toys to the needy each month is a sure-fire way to make your child hate poor people.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday's Tip For Better Living

Give your old socks to the maid.  Her many children can use them as puppets.  Or they can use them as rags to help their mother with the cleaning since they're not in school.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thursday's Tip For Better Living

To help stop the annoying accumulation of junk mail, send back any cards or envelopes that say, "No postage necessary if mailed in the United States."  The companies that sent them in the first place are forced to pay for the postage.  You can write little messages on the cards such as "Please stop sending these to everyone."  If we all do our part, we can put an end to the junk mail menace.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wednesday's Tip For Better Living

Leaving your infant alone for several hours each day helps him build a healthy sense of independence.  You don't want him to learn to rely on you for everything.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Today's Tip For Better Living

And now it's time for one of Grandmother Winsome's tips for better living.

Putting "Lost Cat" fliers on the trees outside your house can get you sympathy from neighbors, and later they'll be less likely to call the authorities on you for your various indiscretions.