Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Jane's Social Work

Yesterday I showed up at the women's center, ready to take the girls out for another fun night on the town. But when I got there, the head of the center told me she'd already made reservations for us at the local bowling alley. She must have made a hasty choice because the place lacked a bar. So I drove the girls across town to a bowling alley where there is a fun atmosphere, because I know these young women like to drink. We had such a good time, and I didn't think of Glenn even once the entire evening.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

If your maid ever balks at assisting with one of your experiments, calmly remind her that she has the choice of either helping or becoming part of the experiment.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Jane's Social Work

It turns out that not everyone who is deaf is an aspiring comedian. Just because they insist on speaking with a funny voice doesn't mean they are intending to be humorous, as someone at the women's center was quick to point out to me today.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Life insurance companies are known for dragging their feet when paying out a claim. So as soon as the doctor says things aren't looking good for your loved one, give the company a call and get the ball rolling.

Friday, September 18, 2015

A Tip From Edward

When following someone, stay alert by playing little games. Guess where the person is going, and then reward yourself with a little treat whenever you're correct.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Jane's Social Work

As a special treat, I took some of the women from my group out to get their nails done. They had a lovely time. As we were leaving the salon, one of them said they all needed to get going to their self-defense class. But I convinced them that a class like that could ruin all the beautiful work that was done, and instead we all went out for a mid-afternoon martini.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Taking up yoga will help keep you limber so that you can more comfortably fit into those tight hiding spaces.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you don't have time to dispose of the evidence, quickly snap a few photos and email them to the police. Let them know in your message that you stumbled upon the scene and, once you determined what it was you had found, felt a need to perform your civic duty. The police will then think of you as a witness rather than a suspect, and any evidence of your presence at the scene, such as fingerprints, shoe prints or hair follicles, should be explained to their satisfaction.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, be sure to drink lots of milk to keep your bones strong. That way, when you're older, your creaking bones won't give you away when you're sneaking up on someone.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Jane's Social Work

Sometimes a good night can lead to jail time, but that doesn't mean your group leader is responsible for your bail.