Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures

If you're sweaty at the end of a baseball game, come cool off with a nice treat in the back of my ice cream truck. And don't worry if you didn't win the game. Every kid is a winner in my ice cream truck.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you end up burying a body in your own yard, be sure to plant a tree in that spot so the fresh dirt won't seem suspicious.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! When submitting an obituary to your local paper, always note that your loved one is survived by Grandmother Winsome.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

It's vacation time, Kiddies! Remember to have your ugliest child take all the family photos.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Fanny Mail: A Message From The Road

Kiddies, during lunch I received an email from Ron, who is currently traveling through a major west coast city, and I wanted to share it with you. Ron writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I just wanted to mention that I am thankful for the AMBER Alert system on the highway. Soon after the abduction, I became nervous and was about ready to ditch my car and leave the child behind, when I spotted one of those highway signs. Right away, I saw that they got my license plate number wrong, and realized I was in the clear. Now I can relax and enjoy the long drive ahead, thanks to that sign."

Friday, June 3, 2016

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, I've just thought of a new, wonderful way to dispose of evidence. Hand it to a child to take to school on show-and-tell day. Children are prone to losing things, but even if the kid manages to hold onto the evidence, by the end of the day there will be several new sets of prints on it.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Remember, Kiddies, wearing gloves will help you to avoid leaving fingerprints, and will also prevent the spread of germs.