Friday, February 28, 2014

Edward’s “For Your Information”

When conducting late-night surveillance on a child, it is a good idea to dress in some kind of monster costume. That way, if the child does happen to see you through his window and reports your presence to his parents, it is unlikely that they will believe him, and they will tuck him back into bed shortly.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Time Machine Update

Kiddies, as you know, I’ve had some success with my wonderful Time Machine experiment. Buddy entered the Time Machine on January 17, 2014, and disappeared to another time. What I haven't been able to determine is precisely where in the timeline he is. I've gone over my calculations in an attempt to locate the cat, and while I am still hopeful that he will show up, I do feel it’s now time for the experiment to move forward. And so I turn to you, my fans, for help.

I’m in need of fresh cats. If you have what you think is a worthwhile test subject, please contact me with a thorough description and photo of your cat. The stronger the cat, the better. Ones without pre-existing injuries are preferred.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Edward's "For Your Information"

If your job application has a space for aliases, remember you are not required, or advised, to be so forthcoming.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Cindy's Art Projects

Happy Valentine's Day, Kiddies! Cindy made this wonderful card for me, and I am delighted to share it with you all.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Searching For Cindy (A Little Late In New Zealand)

New Zealand’s a bit slow, Kiddies, and the folks there have just now learned of Cindy’s absence. I received this photo from Isabella, a kind resident. As you know, Cindy has already been found. But I've told Isabella not to take the poster down, just in case the little girl goes missing again. It can be difficult to keep track of children.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Poll Results: What is your favorite food to feed the homeless?

Kiddies, the responses are in on my newest poll. And for the first time there is a tie. Check out the results on my wonderful pie chart.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Fanny Mail: An Amusement Park Question

Today I received an email from Joanna Perillo of Irvine, California. Joanna writes: "Will riding a roller coaster cause a miscarriage? And what's the best roller coaster in Southern California?"

Well, Joanna, I don’t have enough personal experience with all of the roller coasters in that area, so I’m putting this question to my readers. Perhaps they will have some ideas. Whichever park you choose, be sure to enjoy yourself. By the way, having a few drinks beforehand will make the wait in line more pleasant.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Edward's "For Your Information"

Purchasing an old school bus doesn't automatically make you legally entitled to pick up whichever children you like.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Cindy's Art Projects

Hi, Kiddies! This week in school, Cindy's art assignment was to use heart shapes to create an image of a pet or a favorite animal. Just look at the wonderful picture she made of Buddy, the Time-Traveling Cat.