Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Fanny Mail: A Legal Tangle

Kiddies, I am always delighted to hear from my fans. Today I received a letter from Ty Washington of Inez, Kentucky. Ty writes, "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I am writing to you because I am a big fan of your legal advice column on your blog. And because I am currently in prison. I was arrested for statutory rape. I defended myself in court, using the argument that I was born on February 29th, and so am technically only ten years old, actually a year younger than the girl I slept with. So how can it be statutory rape when the girl in question is actually older than me? And besides, it’s perfectly natural for me to want to spend time with others my age."

Well, Ty, your logic seems impeccable to me, so you should certainly appeal the court's decision. But remember, the law is a tricky thing. You're obviously quite intelligent for your age, but it might serve you better to act more like an average ten-year-old. After all, I don't believe ten-year-olds can serve long sentences in state penitentiaries.

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