Thursday, July 6, 2023

Fanny Mail: A Misstep In Dallas


Kiddies, I just received an email from Kayla Madison of Dallas, Texas. Kayla writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I am often too broke to afford good alcohol, so I took your tip from June 29th to heart and went to every bridal shop in town yesterday. Most of them, as you said, offered free champagne. But I got so drunk that I forgot the second part of your tip, and I ended up buying a wedding dress. I woke up in it this morning, and there is a significant amount of vomit on the sleeves and on the train, so I can't return it. I put it on my credit card, but there is no way I can pay that bill. I explained to my boyfriend that now we need to get married to pay for the dress, since I am sure the wedding guests will give us money. He didn't seem all that thrilled with the idea. Do you have any advice?"

Well, Kayla, perhaps the best thing to do is cut off the sleeves and train and try to sell it to another prospective bride. Summers in Texas are hot, so I bet a sleeveless dress will be appreciated. And trains aren't quite as stylish as they once were. So by making these alterations you might be able to get back most of what you paid for it.

And my advice to all my fans is to follow each of my tips to the letter to avoid such mishaps, and to leave your credit cards at home when visiting bridal shops for the free champagne.

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