Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Fanny Mail: A Family Matter


Kiddies, today I received an email from Lou Larsen of Minnetonka, Minnesota. Lou writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, years ago my mother faked her own death, and I inherited her house. Now, because of some trouble down in Haiti, she has returned and is demanding I hand over the house to her. Moving is such a pain, and I have things dear to me hidden under the floorboards and in a lot of the walls of this house, so I'd prefer to stay put. But she is my mother, and it is her house. What should I do?"

Sweetie, legally it is your house, so long as the authorities continue to believe your mother is dead. Is there a burial plot with an empty coffin bearing her name? If so, you could threaten to fill it with its rightful occupant if she tries to kick you out of your house. Remember, you do have some leverage. After all, she's not going to want the authorities coming around any more than you do. To keep things civil, offer to help her find other lodgings in a secluded spot nearby until things blow over in Haiti.

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