Monday, May 25, 2015

Fanny Mail: A Question From A Concerned Spouse

Hi, Kiddies! Last week I received a letter from a fan in Dover, Delaware. Arthur Pennington writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, my wife found and read several drafts of her obituary, which I've been secretly working on for the past two months, and is upset. I told her I like to be prepared, but she's not listening to reason. Instead, she's been turning to her family and friends and complaining about me to them. And so of course I'm worried, because now if she meets with an accident, won't it seem suspicious?"

Yes, Arthur, I think it would seem suspicious. My advice to you is to not let her out of the house for a while. Bad things could happen to her out there, and people could point the finger at you. So keep her at home, at least until you're sure her family and friends have forgotten all about her discovery. And as you continue to perfect her obituary, be sure to store it in a secure place. Her family will be pleased with the work you've put in when the time comes for them to read it.

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