Friday, April 29, 2016

Fanny Mail: A Question From Oregon

Hi, Kiddies. I just received an email from Tom Gaston of Hillsboro, Oregon. Tom writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, my great aunt hasn't been feeling good lately. I think it's time to say goodbye and pull the plug. Unfortunately, she's not even on life support yet. How do I hasten the process and put an end to her suffering?"

Well, Tom, it's best to say goodbye in steps. First, remove all the medicines from your great aunt's home. If any of her prescriptions are to treat pain, she will soon be just as eager as you to end things. Next, cancel her phone and internet service and all her magazine subscriptions, thus releasing her from her connections to the world outside. Then let her know how weak and frail she looks, and that she no longer has to hold on for your sake.

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