A New Year's Eve Message From Grandmother Winsome

Happy New Year, Kiddies! Enjoy your night. And when it gets close to midnight, put those phones away. Focus on the moment and the people you are with. There is no need to be on the phone, because I won't be posting any Grandmother's Fanny Game updates at that hour.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you are on trial, pick the most homely person on the jury, and on day one begin subtly flirting with her. Something as simple as a bashful smile can set things in motion. Remember, it takes only one juror to set you free. And be sure to flirt with only that one person. You don't want her getting jealous of Juror #4 and seeking retribution against you.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, I found a note from the head nurse telling me to put a stop to the beeping from the patients' new watches. The patients hadn't adjusted the settings on the watches that Mrs. Lieberman had given them for Christmas, and so they were beeping at all different times. Most of the patients didn't even realize their watches were beeping. But the watches are all silent now, so the head nurse shouldn't be bothered by them anymore.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home: Christmas Edition

There were more surprises today at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Mrs. Lieberman had placed gifts for all the patients under the little silver tree on the poker table. Because of her recent legal troubles, I quickly closed the blinds before anyone could unwrap anything, so that any police driving by wouldn't catch a glimpse of the gifts. And while the presents were being opened, Mr. Richards brought out a ukulele and delighted everyone with holiday songs. And then it was my turn to surprise everyone with a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels I had in my backpack. It was a wonderful Christmas at the Birch Street Nursing Home.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home, the patients had a wonderful surprise for me. They had decorated the activity room for the holiday all by themselves. Usually, I don't decorate until Christmas Eve, because the nurses don't like the decorations up for more than a day or so. But Mr. Richards had carried up the two boxes from the basement early this morning. There was also a little silver tree on top of the poker table that I hadn't seen before. When I asked where it came from, everyone looked at Mrs. Lieberman, but no one said a word.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

During the poker game this morning at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mr. Richards said that some flowers would really cheer up the activity room, and the other patients agreed. I told him I knew where I could get some. So during the next bathroom break, I ran across the street to the Birch Street Cemetery. And what luck! There must have been a fresh burial yesterday, because there were lots of flowers on one grave. I grabbed the nicest bouquet. Mr. Richards was right. The activity room at the Birch Street Nursing Home was much more cheerful with the flowers.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, Mr. Richards was waiting at the door. He told me he couldn't wait to show me the drapes he'd made with the material I had brought for him last Saturday. I followed him upstairs, and was surpised by how much the new turquoise drapes brightened up the space. I told him he did a great job, and I also liked the stylish throw pillows on his bed. He told me that the room was still a work in progress, and that the next time he wins big at poker he's going to purchase some fresh paint for the walls and a few throw rugs to cover up the stained carpet.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, if you're planning on feeding evidence to a lion, keep in mind you don't have to lower yourself into its enclosure and hand-feed the animal. Just toss the body parts in its general direction. If the lion is hungry enough, all the work will be done for you.