Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living


Kiddies, the price of food at restaurants is outrageous. So go ahead and take the silverware or a set of dishes, especially if they're nicer than the ones you have at home.

Saturday, August 16, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


It was another nice day at the Birch Street Nursing Home, but after last week's mishap across the street at the Birch Street Cemetery, I decided to keep all the patients indoors today. A few of them kept on their summer sweaters anyway.

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women


If you didn't land a top executive at the company picnic, don't be discouraged. In the corporate world, there is traditionally a summer work slump, and so many of those important men end up in the bars once the business day is over. If you've memorized their photos from the company website, you know who to be on the lookout for.

Sunday, August 10, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice


While it might be tempting to make a few bucks by selling certain items to a pawn shop, keep in mind that pawn shops are now required to enter their inventory into a database that the police can access. So what little you might gain is really not worth the risk. Properly dispose of that evidence, Kiddies.

Saturday, August 9, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


It was a nice warm day at the Birch Street Nursing Home, so the patients put on their summer sweaters and we took a walk across the street to the Birch Street Cemetery. I was surprised that Mr. Pearlman wanted to join us. I think he was still feeling good after winning the Name That Tune competition at our National Disability Independence Day celebration last week. We were all having a good time reminiscing about some of the old patients until Mr. Pearlman tripped over Mrs. Chang's headstone. We had trouble getting him back on his feet, and he told us to just leave him there to rot since that is where he'll end up soon anyway. But eventually we got him up and across to the Birch Street Nursing Home. After my shift, I went back to the cemetery to clean the blood off Mrs. Chang's headstone.

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures


In some areas, the children have only one more week before they have to return to school. Well, those kids sure are making the most of these final days of summer, and I'm there to enjoy the action with them. I'm glad the summer doesn't come to such an early end in all school districts. Thanks to ongoing petitioning by some of my associates, the start of the school year is staggered across the country. So I'll be following the summer, and following the children with my ice cream truck. I've assembled a list of all the schools within a five-hundred-mile radius, with the date that each reopens. So there are no worries, even for those returning to school the latest, because I promise to be there with those final tasty treats of summer.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


On my way home from the Birch Street Nursing Home last Saturday, I passed a small festival. I decided to go in and check it out. I learned from a nice woman in a wheelchair that the festival was celebrating National Disability Independence Day. I had never heard of that day. After the festival, I started to feel bad that I didn't do anything special for Mr. Pearlman, who is blind, and Mrs. Macmillan, who is deaf. So today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I decided to celebrate a week late. We played some games. Mr. Pearlman won Name That Tune, and Mrs. Macmillan won the obstacle race. The other patients enjoyed the fruit punch and cookies.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living


Kiddies, air travel is a little dicey these days, so for your personal item, bring along a parachute. It will fit nicely under the seat in front of you. The stewardess might get a little testy if you wear it during her safety speech, but once the pilot orders her to take her seat, you should be able to strap it on without anyone bothering you.

Saturday, July 26, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


It was a beautiful day at the Birch Street Nursing Home, so we took the poker table outside to enjoy the weather. While we were outside, the postal carrier stopped by with a letter for Mrs. Lieberman. We were all a little nervous that Mrs. Lieberman was in trouble again when we saw the official-looking envelope. But after she opened it and read the letter, she announced that the prosecutor has decided not to appeal the jury's verdict. We were relieved, and for the rest of the afternoon, Mrs. Lieberman was all smiles, even when she lost $3.20 on a hand after Mrs. Patterson called her bluff.

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Fanny Mail: Another New Fan


Kiddies, I just received a delightful email from Maureen Lambert of Toms River, New Jersey. Maureen writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I had been putting off my annual checkup with the optometrist for several years, but finally went in yesterday. And I noticed that she was using a new eye chart, which spelled out the sentence 'Follow Grandmother Winsome.' I asked her about it, and she was only too pleased to tell me about Grandmother's Fanny Game. I promised her I would check it out. She didn't even charge me for the visit, provided that I dispose of some documents for her, which I've already done. Consider me a new fan."

Welcome aboard, Sweetie! I'm so glad to count you among my fans.

Saturday, July 19, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman was tickled when I used the judge's gavel she gave me to call the poker game to order. Each of the patients wanted a chance to bang the gavel against the poker table. No one enjoyed it more than Mr. Volkov, who said it reminded him of his youth in the Soviet Union when he spent some time in a courtroom. Mrs. Henley was surprised, asking him what he'd been arrested for. Mr. Volkov laughed and said he wasn't a defendant, but was having a summer fling with a judge.

Friday, July 18, 2025

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures


It was a wonderful day at the park. I had so many customers that I ran out of four flavors of ice cream. And then in the afternoon I noticed some young children beginning to gather at the nearby baseball diamond. There didn't seem to be a coach or any other adult supervision, so I happily closed up shop and went over to help the youngsters with their batting stance and their swing. It feels good to give back to those who have given me so much.

Thursday, July 17, 2025

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women


It's summertime, the time when many corporations have company picnics. This means rich, eligible men are out and about in public areas, and access to them is not difficult to get. Once you discover where such a function is being held, plan your day accordingly. Most company websites have photos of the top executives, so memorize those faces before you go. Once you spot one of those men, set up your blanket right next to his. As you begin to unpack your basket, wait until you're sure he can hear you, and then say, "Silly me, I brought a wineglass, but forgot the wine." If he's a gentleman, he'll be happy to share his wine with you. After a few glasses of wine together, you'll be well on your way to getting that important first date.

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, Mrs. Lieberman was already at the poker table, all smiles. She had the stack of law books there ready for me to take back to the library. She also said she had something to thank me for my help, a little souvenir from the trial. I was surprised when she handed me the judge's gavel. Mrs. Lieberman winked at me and said she must have gotten confused on her way out of the courtroom. And to thank Mrs. Henley for being a star witness, Mrs. Lieberman threw a pizza party, and made sure to have plenty of Mrs. Henley's favorite topping, extra cheese.

Thursday, July 10, 2025

An Important Message For Airline Travelers


Kiddies, you are no longer required to take off your shoes when going through the security checkpoint at the airport, but be aware that those nosy agents may still insist on poking through your bags.

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 5


Today we heard closing arguments in Mrs. Lieberman's trial. The prosecutor went first, reminding the jurors that they all saw Mrs. Lieberman take the 16th-century vase in the security footage. He also said that it was not an isolated incident, reminding them of the hats and purses, which were found at the Birch Street Nursing Home along with the stolen vase. He emphasized that it was not a case of an older woman getting confused, but a cunning woman using her advanced age to pull one over on us. He urged the jury to not let her get away with it. Mrs. Lieberman then stood up and reminded the jury of the receipts for items she bought at the museum, saying those receipts prove that she routinely pays for things. And the security footage showed that she didn't sneak into the museum. She was in the bathroom, which was perfectly understandable and something any of the jurors might have needed to do after drinking a large coffee. As for getting confused, she admitted that she sometimes does. She told the jury that they'll likely all experience it when they reach her age, and she hopes that people around them will show them a little compassion when they do.

After the closing arguments, the judge reminded the jurors of their responsibilities and sent them off to deliberate. I decided to use the time to get some lunch across the street. While I was eating my sandwich, I glanced out the window and saw the prosecutor rushing up the steps of the courthouse. I shoved the last bite in my mouth, and got back to the court room just as the judge announced that the jury had reached a decision. I was nervous, because Grandmother had told me that short jury deliberations usually meant a guilty verdict. But when the jury foreman announced the verdict, Mrs. Lieberman was found not guilty! While everyone was leaving the courthouse, I gave Mrs. Lieberman a hug and told her I would see her on Saturday.

Monday, July 7, 2025

Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 4


The trial resumed today, and it was Mrs. Lieberman's time to shine. What a surprise it was when she called Mrs. Henley to the stand as a witness! Mrs. Lieberman stated that the prosecutor had portrayed her a career criminal, and asked Mrs. Henley if in all the time she'd known her if she had ever witnessed her taking anything that didn't belong to her. She also asked if Mrs. Henley had ever caught her cheating at poker. Mrs. Henley said, "Absolutely not!" She glared at the prosecutor and said to him, "How dare you say that about Mrs. Lieberman." Then after the judge had a couple of words with Mrs. Henley, Mrs. Henley clearly stated that Mrs. Lieberman is the kindest and most trustworthy of all the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home. During cross examination, the prosecutor asked Mrs. Henley if she'd ever witnessed Mrs. Lieberman get confused. Mrs. Henley didn't answer at first, and looked down at her hands. The prosecutor asked the question again, and the judge told her to answer. Mrs. Henley didn't lift her eyes, but said that she had seen Mrs. Lieberman get confused. She said it was embarrassing, but she saw Mrs. Lieberman try to eat the curtains at the Birch Street Nursing Home. The prosecutor seemed surprised and quickly told the judge he had no further questions. Mrs. Lieberman then told the judge that the defense rests. The judge announced that closing arguments would be heard tomorrow.

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


As I promised, today I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home earlier than usual. Mrs. Lieberman already had the poker table set up, and the other patients were ready to go. We didn't mention Mrs. Lieberman's trial even once the whole day.

Friday, July 4, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home: Independence Day Edition


I wanted to help take Mrs. Lieberman's mind off of her trial, so today I brought a box of sparklers and some cupcakes to the Birch Street Nursing Home. The patients had fun twirling the sparklers around, and quickly devoured all the cupcakes. Before I left, I told them I'd see them bright and early tomorrow for a full day of poker, and that brought a big smile to Mrs. Lieberman's face.

Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 3


The prosecution wrapped up its case against Mrs. Lieberman today, calling in two more witnesses. The first was a man from a local store who talked about how he had several hats and purses stolen recently. The second was the arresting officer, who said the stolen 16th-century vase was found in plain sight on a table where the defendant and others were playing poker. The stolen hats and purses were found around the table too. During the cross examination, Mrs. Lieberman asked the officer if that is typical behavior of a hardened criminal, to leave stolen items out in plain sight and not even attempt to hide them from authorities. The officer had to admit no, it wasn't. I thought Mrs. Lieberman did a great job, but I got worried when after she finished she went and sat down next to the prosecutor.The judge had to remind her that she had her own table, and asked the bailiff to help guide her back to her proper spot and to pour her a glass of water. Mrs. Lieberman drank the whole glass, and then the judge said they would call it a day and would continue the trial on Monday.

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 2


When Grandmother learned that I had attended the first day of Mrs. Lieberman's trial, she was happy, and she encouraged me to go back for the whole trial, and to pay close attention. She said the things I learn at court might help me later in life. During opening arguments this morning, the lead prosecutor told the jurors it was an open-and-shut case, that they were going to see video evidence that clearly shows Mrs. Lieberman stealing the 16th-century vase from the art museum. And just before he sat down, he told the jury that this theft was not an isolated incident. Mrs. Lieberman used her time to apologize to the jury for having to be indoors on such a nice day. She also asked them to bear with her because she is not a professional attorney, adding that she lives in a nursing home without any law books or even a computer. She said that at her age it is easy to get confused and make an honest mistake. The prosecution then began its case against Mrs. Lieberman. The prosecutor wasted no time, and for the first witness, called the head of security for the museum. This witness talked about locking up for the night, and then about watching the security footage the next morning. The prosecutor showed some of the footage, including Mrs. Lieberman coming out of the bathroom and then removing the vase and putting it in a large shopping bag. The prosecutor also showed multiple sales receipts from Mrs. Lieberman's purchases at the museum gift shop, including a coffee from just an hour before the vase was stolen. During cross examination, Mrs. Lieberman asked the head of security why he didn't check to make sure everyone was out of the building before locking up. And she asked him if he came out of a bathroom in a strange place and found no one around, might he himself get confused. He admitted that he might. Before she let him step down from the witness stand, she said that if someone were going to steal something from the art museum, wouldn't it be much easier to steal a cup of coffee and post cards than a 16th-century vase? Yet, those were paid for, as the receipts clearly showed. I looked over at the jury then, and saw that two of the jurors were nodding their heads. That's a good sign for Mrs. Lieberman.

Monday, June 30, 2025

Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 1


Mrs. Lieberman's trial started today. After her curtain-eating incident at the Birch Street Nursing Home on Saturday, I was worried about her, and so decided to go to court to make sure she was okay. When I walked up to her with some cookies I had baked, an officer told me to sit down. So I did. I managed to get a seat right behind Mrs. Lieberman, who had a whole table to herself since she is acting as her own lawyer. I asked her in my softest whisper if she was okay, and she assured me she was fine. Just then the judge entered and everyone stood up. I thought opening arguments would start right away, but the only thing that happened all morning was interviewing jurors. But it was fun getting to watch Mrs. Lieberman asking the jurors questions. She asked an older woman if she ever got confused at a store, like forgetting what she'd come in for. The woman said yes, that it happens all the time. That was one of the jurors that Mrs. Lieberman selected. Another juror she picked was a young man who said he helps take care of his grandmother. When that was finished in the early afternoon, the judge told everyone that opening arguments would begin tomorrow morning. Just before Mrs. Lieberman got in her taxi back to the Birch Street Nursing Home, I gave her what was left of the tin of cookies.

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Mrs. Lieberman was just not herself today at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Her upcoming trial for felony theft must be more stressful than any of us thought. During an exciting hand of poker, Mrs. Lieberman got up from the table, wandered over to the window and started chewing on the curtains. When we tried to get her to sit back down, she told us she was not done with that course and not to bother her until after dessert. The rest of the patients and I returned to the poker table, but no one could focus on the game. Several minutes later, Mrs. Lieberman stopped nibbling on the curtains, and went up to her room. I sure hope she is feeling better by Monday, when her trial starts.

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women


If a man is enthusiastic about you, open up to him! It's unusual that a man wants to know so much about you, not only your favorite food and color, but the city where you were born, the street you grew up on, the name of your first pet, and your mother's maiden name. Don't be too guarded. In my recent experience, the more a man learns, the more excited he becomes.

Saturday, June 21, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman was already at the poker table. But she was in no mood to play poker. She had a stack of papers in front of her, and told me they were part of a large package of evidence that the prosecution dropped off yesterday. She said the evidence also included a DVD with security footage, but she did not have a DVD player. I remembered that there was a television and DVD player in the head nurse's office, but when I checked that door, it was locked. Mrs. Lieberman was getting nervous. She handed me two hundred dollars and asked me to go buy her a DVD player. But I decided to first try a special trick that Grandmother had showed me. From my backpack, I took out a standard screwdriver and paper clip, and did exactly as she had taught me. Moments later, the door was unlocked and Mrs. Lieberman was watching the DVD in the head nurse's office. I moved the stack of papers from the poker table, and noticed that the top few sheets were photocopies of receipts from Mrs. Lieberman's trips to the art museum. I ran the poker game until an hour later when Mrs. Lieberman came back into the activity room, looking upset. She said she might have to change her defense strategy.

Saturday, June 14, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman was eager to take a break from reading her law books and play some poker. She got on a winning streak and said she hoped that streak would take her right through the trial.

Saturday, June 7, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman was in a good mood, because the judge had accepted her request for an extension in her upcoming trial. Now that she is acting as her own attorney, Mrs. Lieberman has been needing my help. As she requested, I returned the books I had checked out from my school library, and brought her several law books from the public library. When Mrs. Lieberman began going through those books, I decided to take a look around the activity room for two missing books that the librarian at my school told me were not in the stack with the others I returned. I was about ready to give up when Mr. Matthews came down the stairs carrying Susie Takes The Stand and It Wasn't Emily's Fault. Before I left for the day, Mrs. Lieberman praised my new selection of books, saying she was well on her way to being declared not guilty.

Saturday, May 31, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


After Mrs. Lieberman decided to become her own counsel for her upcoming trial, she asked me to get as many books on law out of the library as I could. Today I brought a bag full of books from my school library to her at the Birch Street Nursing Home, but Mrs. Lieberman said that none of them would be any help and told me I had to go to the adult library. I was a little disappointed. I thought Little Billy Goes To Court and Why Daddy Will Be Gone For Three To Five Years had a lot of useful information.

Saturday, May 24, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


I wasn't surprised to find Mrs. Lieberman's public defense attorney waiting outside when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning. She didn't seem as happy as she was last week. When we got inside, she told Mrs. Lieberman that the district attorney wouldn't budge, since there was so much evidence against her, including video footage from the museum of her taking the 16th-century vase. She urged Mrs. Lieberman again to take the plea deal. But instead, Mrs. Lieberman fired her and announced she would represent herself. Mrs. Lieberman immediately began drafting a letter to the judge requesting an extension, and left me in charge of the poker game.

Monday, May 19, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living


If a neighbor's child is injured on your property, it's best to finish him off and bury the evidence rather than risk a lawsuit from his parents.

Saturday, May 17, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


This morning when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman's public defense attorney was standing at the door again. She told me she didn't bother knocking this time, since she knew I'd be along soon to open the door. She also said she had come with good news for Mrs. Lieberman. I was eager to hear it, but she told me it was something for her client's ears. Mrs. Lieberman was already setting up the poker table when we walked into the activity room. Right away, the public defender announced that she negotiated a plea deal with the district attorney. Mrs. Lieberman would no longer be charged with felony theft. All she had to do was plead guilty to the lesser charge of misdemeanor theft. She seemed so pleased when she said it, and most of the patients took it as a good sign. But Mrs. Lieberman was quiet for almost a minute. When she finally spoke, she said, "No deal."

Thursday, May 15, 2025

An Important Message From Grandmother Winsome


Kiddies, unless you're filming someone's suicide off a high-rise building, hold your cell phones horizontally. You'll capture more of the action that way.

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, I was surprised to see Mrs. Lieberman's public defense attorney standing outside. She said she'd been knocking on the door for a while, but no one had answered. When I let her in with my key, she told me she was there to get character witness statements from the other patients. Mrs. Henley was the first to be interviewed, and she was thrilled that this lawyer was adopting the strategy that she herself used. I just hope the outcome is better for Mrs. Lieberman than it was at our mock trial when Mrs. Henley defended her.

Saturday, May 3, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, the first thing I did was ask Mrs. Lieberman if she'd heard from her defense attorney. She said she hadn't, but assured me she wasn't worried, that these things take time. I had my doubts, until she won the first three hands of the poker game, and then I knew that she wasn't distracted much by her upcoming trial.

Friday, May 2, 2025

Another Important Message From Grandmother Winsome


Kiddies, beware! The photo that has been circulating online is bogus! After many discussions with top cardinals about my taking over the papacy, I must inform my fans that we were not able to reach satisfactory terms. So the image you have been seeing everywhere is merely a tactic on the part of the Vatican in the hope that I would change my mind. For the foreseeable future, Winsome Headquarters will remain right where it is.

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice


Kiddies, while a fake mustache can work well as part of a man's disguise, it could inadvertently call more attention to you if you're a woman.

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, our poker game was interrupted by Mrs. Lieberman's public defense attorney. She came in and spread her papers out on the poker table, and asked Mrs. Lieberman to give her own account of the events leading to the museum's 16th century vase ending up at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Mrs. Henley, who played the defense attorney in our own mock trial of Mrs. Lieberman, interrupted to say that all the patients really enjoyed having the vase on the poker table. She said it brightened up the place, even though Mrs. Lieberman wouldn't let them put any flowers in it. Mrs. Lieberman told the attorney she had gotten confused at the museum and thought she was in the gift shop. When the attorney finished taking Mrs. Lieberman's statement, she promised she'd do everything she could for her client and would be in touch soon.

Monday, April 21, 2025

An Important Message From Grandmother Winsome


Kiddies, I appreciate your many messages encouraging me to accept the position as the next pope. While I value your support, I am far too busy to take on that job and to move Winsome Headquarters to Rome. But if you see pink smoke rising from the Sistine Chapel, you'll know that those cardinals sweetened the pot enough to get me to change my mind.

Saturday, April 19, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today I brought three boxes of doughnuts to the Birch Street Nursing Home to help cheer up Mrs. Lieberman after the unexpected results of last week's mock trial. The patients played poker and ate doughnuts all day and did not once mention her legal troubles.

Saturday, April 12, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today we held our mock trial of Mrs. Lieberman at the Birch Street Nursing Home, to help calm her fears before her real trial. I played the judge. The judge's robe that Grandmother lent me was a little big, but once I was seated I was no longer worried about tripping on it. I called court to order at 9 o'clock. Mr. Pearlman, playing the prosecutor, made his opening statement, and everyone was impressed by his argument. He didn't pull any punches, and went right after Mrs. Lieberman, reminding the jury that they had all seen the stolen vase and worn the stolen hats. Even Mrs. Henley, who was playing the defense attorney, applauded Mr. Pearlman's performance. Mrs. Henley's defense was largely based on Mrs. Lieberman's good character. She reminded the jury that Mrs. Lieberman gave the stolen hats and purses to them, and that the vase was there for the enjoyment of everyone while we played poker. Mrs. Henley also called witnesses who testified that Mrs. Lieberman made things fun at the Birch Street Nursing Home by running the poker game and by setting up fireworks displays on the 4th of July. As the closing arguments were made, I wasn't sure which way the jury would go, and thought deliberation might go on for hours. But after only five minutes, the jury foreman, Mrs. Kunkle, told me that they had reached a verdict. Mrs. Lieberman was guilty on all counts. And now Mrs. Lieberman is more nervous than before.

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman was having an off day at the poker table. I knew something was wrong when she folded with three of a kind. When I asked her about it, she told me she was nervous about her upcoming trial. I suggested we hold a mock trial at the Birch Street Nursing Home to help calm her fears. I could pretend to be the judge, and the other patients could act as prosecutors, defense attorneys, witnesses and jury members. Mrs. Lieberman took to the idea, and before I left this afternoon I assigned roles to the other patients and told them to be prepared for next Saturday.

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mr. Pearlman surprised us by saying that he wanted to join the poker game. We didn't have any braille playing cards, so Mrs. Henley offered to whisper to him which cards he had in his hand. We could all hear Mrs. Henley, and it wasn't long before Mr. Pearlman lost all his money.

Tuesday, March 25, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice


Kiddies, remember that if you are out on bail you should not contact any witnesses. Instead, have an associate do that for you.

Saturday, March 22, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


During a bathroom break in the poker game today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman read aloud to me the conditions of her bond. She laughed at all the things she's not allowed to do, including setting foot within a hundred yards of the art museum and JoAnn's Hats And Purses.

Wednesday, March 19, 2025

A Parenting Tip From Grandmother Winsome


For your family photos, arrange your children in the order of preference, with your favorites closest to you in the center. That way, if need be, it will be easy to crop out the others at a later date.

Saturday, March 15, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today during a tense hand of poker at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Henley suddenly blurted out that she didn't care if the hats and purses were hot, that she appreciated the gesture. Mrs. Lieberman thanked her and said if she's able to beat the rap at her upcoming trial she will do her best to replace all the items the police confiscated.

Monday, March 10, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice


Kiddies, if you plan on dumping a body in the ocean, for heaven's sake, do not embalm it first! Embalming a body actually helps preserve it, and will likely keep certain fish from finding it a tasty treat.

Saturday, March 8, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Monday I took Mrs. Lieberman's stack of money to the jail to bail her out. But the man behind the desk wouldn't take the money. He told me I was legally too young to bail someone out of jail, and that the money had to be presented at the courthouse anyway. I was able to talk Jane into driving me yesterday after school and delivering the bail. All I had to do was tell her that there would be lots of single lawyers there. It took a while, but afterward we were able to pick up Mrs. Lieberman at the jail and drive her back to the Birch Street Nursing Home. So today, the poker game at the Birch Street Nursing Home was back to normal, though we still need to replace the card shuffler that the police confiscated.

Monday, March 3, 2025

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice


If a stranger calls your name, don't react until you're certain he is not there to serve you papers.

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home


Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, we received a collect call from Mrs. Lieberman in jail. The first thing she did was remind me that the call was being recorded. Then she told me she was touched by the patients' letter that I had sent. She said she was doing well, and that the food is better there than at the Birch Street Nursing Home, but that the poker game isn't as much fun. I asked her when she's coming back, and she told me it all depends on when someone might bail her out. She then told me that when I do my rounds to please fix the loose floorboard under her bed. I knew what she meant, and Monday after school I will take the money to jail to get her out.