Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home I heard Mr. Matthews call Mrs. Lieberman "Twitchy," so I pinned her name tag back on her sweater.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

When dining out, always ask to be seated in the Grandmother Winsome section.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Take a cue from the film industry, Kiddies. Install a red light outside your laboratory so that your work will not be interrupted.

Grandmother Winsome Goes To Hollywood

Kiddies, I'm having a wonderful time in Hollywood. An associate of mine from the carnival days is working as an extra on a film, and invited me to the set to look around. I took a peek in the props room, and realized it would be an excellent spot to drop off some evidence. Next time!

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

If there is a wedding or other obligation you now wish to get out of, simply tell those involved that you're just getting back from a cruise and are under quarantine because of the coronavirus. Be sure to express your regrets that you will not be able to attend.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I removed the name tag from Mrs. Lieberman's sweater. She has been living at the home for six weeks, so everyone there has had a chance to learn her name by now.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Construction sites often have large plastic tarps that are quite thick and durable, perfect for keeping blood stains off your carpet.

A Tip For The Workplace

To help you get through the workday, periodically check the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog for new posts. And if there isn't a new post at the moment, go back and read some of your old favorites. Don't worry if your online activity is monitored at work. If anything, this will lead to a promotion, for it will tell your employers that you are someone who follows good advice.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Monday in class I asked for a hall pass to go to the nurse's office. I told the nurse about Mrs. Lieberman's twitching eye and asked if she had any ideas on how to fix it, just in case the industrial strength glue I had used in the ointment didn't work. But she just told me to return to class. I wish she had shared her thoughts with me because when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, I was sad to see that Mrs. Lieberman's eye was twitching as much as ever. I spent the morning making an eye patch for her as a temporary solution until I can find a cure for her problem. Mrs. Lieberman seemed to like the patch and even said it suited her.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you're about to be captured by police, upon their approach, give an exaggerated yawn and then exclaim: "You woke me up! Where am I? Whose knife is this?" This will help lay the groundwork for a sleepwalking defense.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I was excited to get to the Birch Street Nursing Home today with the industrial strength glue I had ordered. I figured Mrs. Lieberman was as eager as I was to get her twitching eye under control, so I went straight down to my laboratory to mix up a new batch of ointment using the stronger glue. By late morning, it was ready. I filled an old apple sauce jar with the ointment and took it up to Mrs. Lieberman, who was seated in bed, writing notes in a journal. I told her I had created an improved formula for her twitching eye, and she was patient while I applied the first layer of the ointment. I told her that the instructions were the same as last time, that she was to apply it three times a day. I didn't notice any progress before I left the Birch Street Nursing Home this afternoon, but hope that next week when I arrive, the twitching will be gone.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, if you know your activity is going to be caught on security cameras, wear a few extra layers of clothing so that you'll appear to be much heavier than you really are.

Grandmother In Chinatown

Kiddies, I had to pop over to San Francisco to take care of a little business. And goodness gracious, because of the coronavirus, Chinatown is dead.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, with the growing coronavirus hysteria, there's never been a better time to get away with using a mask to obscure your facial features. No one will be the least bit suspicious of you. What's more, people will keep their distance from you out of fear of catching the virus. So go ahead and plan those special activities without fear of being recognized.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, no matter how unflattering the photo the authorities choose to put on your "Most Wanted" poster, do not turn yourself in just to get it taken down.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, no matter how much the authorities overestimate your weight in the description on the "Most Wanted" poster, do not call them to argue about it.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

All week at school I kept thinking about Mrs. Lieberman's twitching eye. This morning as soon as I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I went right upstairs to the room Mrs. Lieberman shares with Hazel. I was pleased to see that the jar of ointment I had left next to her bed was empty, but I was not pleased to find that using it had had no effect. Mrs. Lieberman's eye was twitching just as much as it did last week. So I will use a month's worth of my pay from the nursing home to order a much stronger glue. It's going to be industrial strength this time, which should increase the ointment's potency. I hope the next batch will hold that distracting eye in place.