Friday, July 29, 2016
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Monday, July 25, 2016
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Kiddies, when I logged on to my blog today, I received a message which read, "There's been suspicious activity on your Google account." I'm delighted that a competitor in the world of cat research is so eager to learn of my current experiment that he or she would attempt to access my data. As you know, Kiddies, I am always happy to share my results, but not until a study has been completed. I expect this one will take at least another few weeks, for I still need to finish testing on the final dozen subjects. But stay tuned, eager fans, and I will post the results here.
Posted by Grandmother's Fanny Game at 7:07 PM
Monday, July 18, 2016
Hi, Kiddies! In Saturday's mail I received a letter from Benjamin Wilcox of Akron, Ohio. Benjamin writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I firmly believe that 'No' means no. However, in the case where a woman speaks no English, how am I expected to know what anything she says means? The woman I allegedly raped spoke not a single word of English. So how was I to know what she was saying? She might have been urging me on, or perhaps even talking about something completely unrelated. Certainly, she was repeating something. But in all the excitement she never once uttered the word 'No,' at least not in any language I understand. Yet this case is actually going to trial. What do you advise?"
Well, Benjamin, as I understand from your letter, you certainly would have stopped had the woman only asked you to in a language you understood. There are more than six thousand languages currently spoken in the world, and I don't think a person can be held accountable for not knowing them all. It's just not reasonable. Perhaps if you convey to the judge your willingness to take some foreign language classes in order to avoid this sort of confusion in the future, he will dismiss the case. After all, a willingness to learn demonstrates that your heart is in the right place.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
It was on this date in 1956 that I agreed to be the beard for a famous movie star. In return, he agreed to fund the very first Winsome Family Laboratory. The cost included a hundred dollars in cats, which in those days was quite a lot.
Monday, July 11, 2016
Friday, July 8, 2016
Hi, Kiddies! I am always tickled pink to know that my advice makes a positive impact on people's lives. I just received a letter from a grateful fan in Los Angeles who writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, the excellent legal advice you provided back in February of 2015 really came in handy in what otherwise could have been a dicey situation. The murder trial felt like it was going in the prosecution's favor until the judge played the 911 call and the jury heard me yell, 'Hang in there, honey, they're on their way!' I believe that's when they became convinced of my innocence. Two of the jurors were even brought to tears in what became the turning point of the trial. Thank you so much."
You're welcome, Sweetie! And for those of you who might have missed it, you can click here to read the excellent legal advice this fan is referring to.
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
If your workplace offers free counseling, take it, provided that you are still on the clock. Any time spent in the counselor's office is time you won't be expected to do any work.