Friday, July 31, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Maintaining flowers on the graves of your loved ones will help to eliminate any lingering suspicions people might have that you were involved in their deaths.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Most people are too busy these days to visit cemeteries. So periodically have your maid place flowers on the graves of your loved ones on her way home. Be sure to remind her to also remove the old flowers or any leaves that might have accumulated there.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Fanny Mail: Responses To The Grandmother Winsome II News

Kiddies, I was delighted to get so many responses regarding the capsizing of The Grandmother Winsome II, which I reported on July 13th. Here are two of the messages I received, the second arriving just this morning.

Jake Moller, of Port Charlotte, Florida writes: "Grandmother, I was sad to read the news about The Grandmother Winsome II. I just want to let you know that The Grandmother Winsome III is in tip-top shape and will be seaworthy for years to come."

Ernest Hanson, of Fort Myers, writes: "Grandmother, as sorry as I was to hear about the recent demise of The Grandmother Winsome II, I was pleased that the name was now free for me to use. The new Grandmother Winsome II begins its maiden voyage tomorrow."

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Cindy's Community Service (Week 11)

This week to help out the elderly, I distributed medication to the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home. The nurse had me check in their mouths to make sure they swallowed all their pills.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Important News

Kiddies, I just read of an incident where an employee was secretly filming actresses in bathrooms. I'm pleased to report that no Grandmother's Fanny Game fans were identified on any of this man's cameras, because they've all read my important tip from June 28, 2012. For anyone who is new to my blog and concerned about privacy, simply click on this link: Before Going Out...

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Cindy's Community Service (Week 10)

This week to help out the elderly, I cleaned out Mrs. Beaumont's room. She certainly had a lot of stuff, and it took me two days to box it all up. Mr. Matthews stopped by and offered to help me move the heavier items. He said that Mrs. Beaumont had told him he could have her television, and so we moved that to his room.

Monday, July 13, 2015

The Grandmother Winsome II Update

I have some sad news, Kiddies. The Grandmother Winsome II has capsized. There were no survivors. The good news is that name is now up for grabs again in the Fort Myers area.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures

This weekend at the beach, I educated some young children on the importance of sunscreen, and showed them how to apply it evenly over all exposed skin. After all, no one looks good with a sunburn.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Jane's Social Work

Volunteering at the women's center has made me feel even better about myself. These young, troubled women really look up to me. I have a lot of ideas on how to improve their lives.

Cindy's Community Service (Week 9)

This week to help out the elderly, I cleaned Mrs. Beaumont’s dentures.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Celebrating Independence Day

Tonight I went out to a fireworks display with some young women from my group. I’ve been volunteering my time at a women’s center, giving young women dating advice and tips on other social interactions. It actually feels quite good to truly be making a difference, molding the minds and lives of impressionable young women. And it was fun sharing a drink with them while we watched the fireworks.

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures

What a great day. My ice cream truck has never been busier. There was an increased police presence at the lake where I set up shop, but after giving both of the officers a chocolate cone, I was left alone to do my work. In fact, I think they actually sent some customers my way.

Cindy's Community Service (Week 8)

This week to help out the elderly, I'm keeping an eye on the Birch Street Nursing Home while the nurses are in town getting a pizza. One of the patients was shouting from her room upstairs a while ago, but I didn't want to leave my post here in the lobby. The shouting suddenly stopped anyway, so I've got everything under control now. And I'm sure the nurses will be back soon.

Ahoy There, Kiddies!

I just received this email, Kiddies, and I am delighted to share it with you. Lorraine B. of Fort Myers, Florida writes: "Greetings from the deck of The Grandmother Winsome II. I can’t say exactly where we’re going, but just wanted to say hello."