Monday, August 12, 2013

Fanny Mail: A Question About Funerals

Hi, Kiddies! This weekend I received an email from Mrs. Lillian Primscott of Birmingham, England. She writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I'm sad to report that our son has died. My husband and I are busy making all the necessary arrangements which accompany such a tragedy, and we see that the expenses are quickly getting out of hand. My husband mentioned that since our dog loves burying bones and was fond of our child, perhaps we could just forgo the whole funeral and cemetery plot and let the dog do the work. Besides, we've been saving money for a trip to Hawaii, and a funeral would force us to put off our plans for another year. We'd prefer not use our vacation fund for something as unenjoyable as a funeral. My only real concern is our family and loved ones. They expect a ceremony. What should we do?"

Well, Lillian, I think letting the dog do the work is a marvelous idea. Why spend all that money on an expensive coffin when you're only going to see it for an hour or so before it's buried? As for your family and friends, you can still have a funeral. Just simply have it at your home. Set the body up on some crates or a card table, and let folks pay their respects. Then those who wish to stay longer can make the trip to the back yard to watch the dog do its job. You may wish to set up some chairs outside, because depending on the size of the dog and the temperature of the day, the burial may take quite a while. However, regardless of how long it takes, your vacation fund will remain intact. And after spending a day with all your relatives, getting away will be even more gratifying. You're going to love Hawaii.

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