Fanny Mail: A Question About Death And Computer Access

Kiddies, a few minutes ago I received an email from Emily Holt of Canton, Ohio. Emily writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, my husband of thirty-six years suddenly died Tuesday. He was in charge of our finances, and had all our important documents saved on his computer. I went searching for his password, because I know a mortgage payment and other bills will be due soon, but couldn't find it. Then I remembered that when he set up his new computer, he used a fingerprint scanner to log in. So I have no idea how to access our documents. What should I do?"

Emily, even if the plan was to cremate the body, that likely hasn't yet happened. So you can get access to your husband's finger. But before you barge into the funeral home with a pair of hedge clippers, consider taking the laptop to the body. Be prepared with some lotion to rehydrate that index finger to get a good print. Taking the laptop to the body will work if you only need to access those documents once. But if you expect you'll need to access his computer again, then you'll have to bring that finger home.

A Message From Grandmother Winsome

Kiddies, I understand wanting to check the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog for updates as soon as you're done with a set at the gym. But before taking out your phone, wipe down the equipment and step away so that another person can begin his or her workout.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mr. Richards was waiting for me, eager to get back to work on the improvements of the activity room. I handed him the floor polish that I got at the hardware store, and he went right to work. I also handed Mrs. Lieberman the remainder of the money I got after returning the tools we'd used last week to pull up the carpet. I noticed she did not look happy when Mr. Richards, Mr. Volkov and Mrs. Henley were removing the poker table from the room, and I reminded her that it was only temporary while the floor was being polished. And though Mr. Richards warned the other patients that the floor would be slippery until the polish dried, Mrs. Patterson went to look out the window and ended up flat on her back.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

If there is an elderly person in your family, hold off buying a birthday gift until the last minute, because it might end up not being necessary.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If it's your job to paint the lines on the highway, every few miles also paint "Follow Grandmother's Fanny Game."

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Last week at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mr. Richards said he would need more tools to pull up the carpet in the activity room. So after school yesterday, I stopped by the hardware store to ask what tools were needed for pulling up carpet. The guy there was very helpful, and today my backpack was heavy with tools on my way to the Birch Street Nursing Home. Mr. Richards was happy with what I'd bought, and as the patients got to work pulling up the carpet, Mrs. Lieberman told everyone to be as gentle with the tools as possible, because she planned on having me return them for a full refund when the job was done. Mr. Volkov was the first one to pull up the padding under the carpet, and he suddenly shouted out. The others stopped what they were doing to look at what he'd uncovered, a beautiful hardwood floor. With a big smile, Mr. Richards said that just a little polish would make it look as good as new. Before I left, I hauled all the carpet and padding out back and left it behind the shed.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

When hiring a cleaning service, be sure to choose one that offers "emergency cleaning," and make sure the operation is in business twenty-four hours a day and that there is no limit on how far the cleaners will travel. As soon as they show up for an emergency cleaning, be sure to give them a big tip, directly proportional to how big the job is. Then you can rest easy, knowing that every last bit of DNA will be wiped from the scene.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I led the brief meeting on the goals for the day, reminding the patients that the head nurse is upset about all the paint on the carpet, and that pulling up the carpet should be the priority. Mr. Richards suggested starting in one corner, and I was surprised to see Mrs. Patterson dive right into the work. She started pulling on it and soon had the corner up, but suddenly she howled out in pain when one of her fingers got jabbed by a staple. I couldn't help but hold my breath for a moment, worrying she would accuse the late Mrs. Shimshack of setting a booby trap. But she didn't. While Mrs. Henley was wrapping Mrs. Patterson's bleeding finger in a towel, Mr. Richards told me they would need more tools for this job. I decided to leave a note for the head nurse, letting her know we hit a snag, but promising we would start pulling up the carpet next week.