A Birthday Message From Grandmother Winsome

Kiddies, thank you for all the birthday wishes I received today. And a special thank you to everyone who sent in photos of their costumes. I hope you all had an absolutely wonderful Halloween. I know I did.

Fanny Mail: Halloween In West Hollywood

Kiddies, the Halloween photos keep coming in, and I couldn't be more delighted. This email comes from Liam Michaels of West Hollywood, California. Liam writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, my friends and I are having a fabulous time out at the clubs tonight. We are avid readers of Jane's dating advice, and even though we're all still single, we decided to pay homage to Jane on Halloween."

Wonderful, Sweeties! I will be sure to let Jane know she has some fans.

Fanny Mail: Halloween In Baltimore

Kiddies, I am delighted that so many of my fans, including prominent members of society, are dressing up as me for Halloween. I just received an email from the Honorable William Brown of Baltimore, Maryland. The Honorable William Brown writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I adjourned court early so that I could properly celebrate your birthday. There is a pub nearby with excellent happy hour deals, and since it's Halloween I'm dressing as my favorite legal scholar. Happy birthday!"

Thank you, Sweetie! And it's wonderful to know that you're enjoying my Legal Advice posts. Happy Halloween.

Fanny Mail: Halloween In Warwick

Kiddies, I am tickled pink that children are getting in on the Halloween action. I just received an email from Nikki Sullivan of Warwick, Rhode Island. Nikki writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, my friends and I decided to dress up for Halloween, even though it's frowned upon at our parochial school. We'll do our penance later, but for now we're having fun. Happy Halloween!" 

Happy Halloween, Nikki! You and your friends look great.

Fanny Mail: Halloween In Salem

Halloween is here, Kiddies! And I just received another wonderful email from a fan, this one from Danielle Wright of Salem, Oregon. Danielle writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I just dropped off my toddler at day care, and wanted to share the photo I took of her before I head to work. Happy birthday and happy Halloween!"

What a smart-looking child! Happy Halloween to you too, Danielle.

Fanny Mail: Another Perfect Halloween Costume

Kiddies, Halloween is tomorrow. Have you picked out your costume? I just received a wonderful email from Sophia Papadopoulos of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and she has her costume all set. Sophia writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I stay at home on Halloween and hand out candy to the kids in my apartment building. I've been wearing the same costume for the last three years, and had planned to wear it again this year. But I was inspired by the Fanny Mail from Susan Dwyer you posted on Sunday. So yesterday I went out to purchase the necessary items. For the first time in three years, my witch's broom will stay in the closet. I've attached a photo of the outfit I'll be wearing tomorrow. Happy Halloween!"

Wonderful, Sweetie! Thanks for sharing that photo. Happy Halloween!

Fanny Mail: The Perfect Halloween Costume

Kiddies, I just received the most delightful email from Susan Dwyer of Ames, Iowa. Susan writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, our local children's charity held an event yesterday, and since it was so close to Halloween, all the adults decided to dress up. I hope you won't mind, but I decided to go as my favorite celebrity – Grandmother Winsome. I am attaching a photo of myself at the event. Happy Halloween, and happy birthday!"

Wonderful, Sweetie! Of course I don't mind. I am tickled pink that you chose to go as me. 

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home, I immediately called the number for the classifieds section of the newspaper to check for any messages regarding the vacant room. There was one new message. I turned on the speaker phone again, but still had to repeat the message for the patients who had trouble hearing. It was from a guy offering to put aluminum siding on the Birch Street Nursing Home. He said he was running a special deal this week only. So it looks like it might be harder to get a new patient in the room than any of us thought. During the poker game, I asked everyone if we should adjust the qualifications we put in the ad, to at least include women. All the female patients and Mr. Volkov said no. So we'll see how it goes next week.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

The first thing I did when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning was call the number for the classified section of the local paper to see if there were any messages left about the vacant room. There were two messages. The patients wanted to listen, and asked me to turn on the speaker phone so they could hear too. But even after I had the speaker phone on, they had trouble hearing, so I had to repeat what was said anyway. The first message was from a man who was offering to spray the Birch Street Nursing Home for bugs. He said he was running a special deal this week only. The message alarmed Mrs. Patterson, and she immediately went to the large crack in the wall near the window of the activity room, looking for insects. The second message was from a man who seemed to be trying to answer a different ad, because he said he would need to personally inspect the chickens before agreeing on the price. So it looks like the room will stay vacant for at least another week.

Grandmother Winsome Balks At Sponsorship

Two major league baseball teams asked me if I would be interested in sponsoring them for the 2026 season. It would mean having my picture on the sleeves of all the players, which would be fun. But after taking a look at this season's standings for those teams, I decided against it. 

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, if you need to submerge a vehicle, avoid the reservoir if it's the source of your drinking water.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

One of the rooms at the Birch Street Nursing Home has been vacant for quite a while. I thought the head nurse had forgotten all about it, but this morning when I got there, there was a note asking me to submit a new classified ad for that room. During the poker game, I got all the patients to pitch in ideas of what the ad should say. This is what we came up with: "Birch Street Nursing Home seeks younger man (under 80) to fill vacant, clean room. Must like poker, have good bowel control, and be able to walk up stairs." The woman at the newspaper assured me the ad would be in tomorrow's edition.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

On my way to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, I stopped to buy a pastry for Mrs. Henley, her prize for being the first person to do a hundred laps around the activity room last week. But once I was inside the bakery, I thought that all the patients deserved a pastry since they all participated in the game. When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home, I let Mrs. Henley have the first pick from the box, and she grabbed the biggest cinnamon roll.