Tuesday, July 29, 2025
Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living
Kiddies, air travel is a little dicey these days, so for your personal item, bring along a parachute. It will fit nicely under the seat in front of you. The stewardess might get a little testy if you wear it during her safety speech, but once the pilot orders her to take her seat, you should be able to strap it on without anyone bothering you.
Saturday, July 26, 2025
Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home
It was a beautiful day at the Birch Street Nursing Home, so we took the poker table outside to enjoy the weather. While we were outside, the postal carrier stopped by with a letter for Mrs. Lieberman. We were all a little nervous that Mrs. Lieberman was in trouble again when we saw the official-looking envelope. But after she opened it and read the letter, she announced that the prosecutor has decided not to appeal the jury's verdict. We were relieved, and for the rest of the afternoon, Mrs. Lieberman was all smiles, even when she lost $3.20 on a hand after Mrs. Patterson called her bluff.
Tuesday, July 22, 2025
Fanny Mail: Another New Fan
Kiddies, I just received a delightful email from Maureen Lambert of Toms River, New Jersey. Maureen writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I had been putting off my annual checkup with the optometrist for several years, but finally went in yesterday. And I noticed that she was using a new eye chart, which spelled out the sentence 'Follow Grandmother Winsome.' I asked her about it, and she was only too pleased to tell me about Grandmother's Fanny Game. I promised her I would check it out. She didn't even charge me for the visit, provided that I dispose of some documents for her, which I've already done. Consider me a new fan."
Welcome aboard, Sweetie! I'm so glad to count you among my fans.
Saturday, July 19, 2025
Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home
Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman was tickled when I used the judge's gavel she gave me to call the poker game to order. Each of the patients wanted a chance to bang the gavel against the poker table. No one enjoyed it more than Mr. Volkov, who said it reminded him of his youth in the Soviet Union when he spent some time in a courtroom. Mrs. Henley was surprised, asking him what he'd been arrested for. Mr. Volkov laughed and said he wasn't a defendant, but was having a summer fling with a judge.
Friday, July 18, 2025
Edward's Ice Cream Truck Adventures
It was a wonderful day at the park. I had so many customers that I ran out of four flavors of ice cream. And then in the afternoon I noticed some young children beginning to gather at the nearby baseball diamond. There didn't seem to be a coach or any other adult supervision, so I happily closed up shop and went over to help the youngsters with their batting stance and their swing. It feels good to give back to those who have given me so much.
Thursday, July 17, 2025
Dating Tips From The Winsome Women
It's summertime, the time when many corporations have company picnics. This means rich, eligible men are out and about in public areas, and access to them is not difficult to get. Once you discover where such a function is being held, plan your day accordingly. Most company websites have photos of the top executives, so memorize those faces before you go. Once you spot one of those men, set up your blanket right next to his. As you begin to unpack your basket, wait until you're sure he can hear you, and then say, "Silly me, I brought a wineglass, but forgot the wine." If he's a gentleman, he'll be happy to share his wine with you. After a few glasses of wine together, you'll be well on your way to getting that important first date.
Saturday, July 12, 2025
Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home
When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, Mrs. Lieberman was already at the poker table, all smiles. She had the stack of law books there ready for me to take back to the library. She also said she had something to thank me for my help, a little souvenir from the trial. I was surprised when she handed me the judge's gavel. Mrs. Lieberman winked at me and said she must have gotten confused on her way out of the courtroom. And to thank Mrs. Henley for being a star witness, Mrs. Lieberman threw a pizza party, and made sure to have plenty of Mrs. Henley's favorite topping, extra cheese.
Thursday, July 10, 2025
An Important Message For Airline Travelers
Kiddies, you are no longer required to take off your shoes when going through the security checkpoint at the airport, but be aware that those nosy agents may still insist on poking through your bags.
Tuesday, July 8, 2025
Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 5
Today we heard closing arguments in Mrs. Lieberman's trial. The prosecutor went first, reminding the jurors that they all saw Mrs. Lieberman take the 16th-century vase in the security footage. He also said that it was not an isolated incident, reminding them of the hats and purses, which were found at the Birch Street Nursing Home along with the stolen vase. He emphasized that it was not a case of an older woman getting confused, but a cunning woman using her advanced age to pull one over on us. He urged the jury to not let her get away with it. Mrs. Lieberman then stood up and reminded the jury of the receipts for items she bought at the museum, saying those receipts prove that she routinely pays for things. And the security footage showed that she didn't sneak into the museum. She was in the bathroom, which was perfectly understandable and something any of the jurors might have needed to do after drinking a large coffee. As for getting confused, she admitted that she sometimes does. She told the jury that they'll likely all experience it when they reach her age, and she hopes that people around them will show them a little compassion when they do.
After the closing arguments, the judge reminded the jurors of their responsibilities and sent them off to deliberate. I decided to use the time to get some lunch across the street. While I was eating my sandwich, I glanced out the window and saw the prosecutor rushing up the steps of the courthouse. I shoved the last bite in my mouth, and got back to the court room just as the judge announced that the jury had reached a decision. I was nervous, because Grandmother had told me that short jury deliberations usually meant a guilty verdict. But when the jury foreman announced the verdict, Mrs. Lieberman was found not guilty! While everyone was leaving the courthouse, I gave Mrs. Lieberman a hug and told her I would see her on Saturday.
Monday, July 7, 2025
Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 4
The trial resumed today, and it was Mrs. Lieberman's time to shine. What a surprise it was when she called Mrs. Henley to the stand as a witness! Mrs. Lieberman stated that the prosecutor had portrayed her a career criminal, and asked Mrs. Henley if in all the time she'd known her if she had ever witnessed her taking anything that didn't belong to her. She also asked if Mrs. Henley had ever caught her cheating at poker. Mrs. Henley said, "Absolutely not!" She glared at the prosecutor and said to him, "How dare you say that about Mrs. Lieberman." Then after the judge had a couple of words with Mrs. Henley, Mrs. Henley clearly stated that Mrs. Lieberman is the kindest and most trustworthy of all the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home. During cross examination, the prosecutor asked Mrs. Henley if she'd ever witnessed Mrs. Lieberman get confused. Mrs. Henley didn't answer at first, and looked down at her hands. The prosecutor asked the question again, and the judge told her to answer. Mrs. Henley didn't lift her eyes, but said that she had seen Mrs. Lieberman get confused. She said it was embarrassing, but she saw Mrs. Lieberman try to eat the curtains at the Birch Street Nursing Home. The prosecutor seemed surprised and quickly told the judge he had no further questions. Mrs. Lieberman then told the judge that the defense rests. The judge announced that closing arguments would be heard tomorrow.
Saturday, July 5, 2025
Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home
As I promised, today I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home earlier than usual. Mrs. Lieberman already had the poker table set up, and the other patients were ready to go. We didn't mention Mrs. Lieberman's trial even once the whole day.
Friday, July 4, 2025
Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home: Independence Day Edition
I wanted to help take Mrs. Lieberman's mind off of her trial, so today I brought a box of sparklers and some cupcakes to the Birch Street Nursing Home. The patients had fun twirling the sparklers around, and quickly devoured all the cupcakes. Before I left, I told them I'd see them bright and early tomorrow for a full day of poker, and that brought a big smile to Mrs. Lieberman's face.
Wednesday, July 2, 2025
Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 3
The prosecution wrapped up its case against Mrs. Lieberman today, calling in two more witnesses. The first was a man from a local store who talked about how he had several hats and purses stolen recently. The second was the arresting officer, who said the stolen 16th-century vase was found in plain sight on a table where the defendant and others were playing poker. The stolen hats and purses were found around the table too. During the cross examination, Mrs. Lieberman asked the officer if that is typical behavior of a hardened criminal, to leave stolen items out in plain sight and not even attempt to hide them from authorities. The officer had to admit no, it wasn't. I thought Mrs. Lieberman did a great job, but I got worried when after she finished she went and sat down next to the prosecutor.The judge had to remind her that she had her own table, and asked the bailiff to help guide her back to her proper spot and to pour her a glass of water. Mrs. Lieberman drank the whole glass, and then the judge said they would call it a day and would continue the trial on Monday.
Tuesday, July 1, 2025
Mrs. Lieberman's Trial, Day 2
When Grandmother learned that I had attended the first day of Mrs. Lieberman's trial, she was happy, and she encouraged me to go back for the whole trial, and to pay close attention. She said the things I learn at court might help me later in life. During opening arguments this morning, the lead prosecutor told the jurors it was an open-and-shut case, that they were going to see video evidence that clearly shows Mrs. Lieberman stealing the 16th-century vase from the art museum. And just before he sat down, he told the jury that this theft was not an isolated incident. Mrs. Lieberman used her time to apologize to the jury for having to be indoors on such a nice day. She also asked them to bear with her because she is not a professional attorney, adding that she lives in a nursing home without any law books or even a computer. She said that at her age it is easy to get confused and make an honest mistake. The prosecution then began its case against Mrs. Lieberman. The prosecutor wasted no time, and for the first witness, called the head of security for the museum. This witness talked about locking up for the night, and then about watching the security footage the next morning. The prosecutor showed some of the footage, including Mrs. Lieberman coming out of the bathroom and then removing the vase and putting it in a large shopping bag. The prosecutor also showed multiple sales receipts from Mrs. Lieberman's purchases at the museum gift shop, including a coffee from just an hour before the vase was stolen. During cross examination, Mrs. Lieberman asked the head of security why he didn't check to make sure everyone was out of the building before locking up. And she asked him if he came out of a bathroom in a strange place and found no one around, might he himself get confused. He admitted that he might. Before she let him step down from the witness stand, she said that if someone were going to steal something from the art museum, wouldn't it be much easier to steal a cup of coffee and post cards than a 16th-century vase? Yet, those were paid for, as the receipts clearly showed. I looked over at the jury then, and saw that two of the jurors were nodding their heads. That's a good sign for Mrs. Lieberman.
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