Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you are running for political office, in all your speeches be sure to say that it's time this country got back to Winsome Family values.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Mrs. Lieberman is still in jail. And for the second week in a row, the poker game wasn't much fun at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Before lunch, we had given up on the game entirely. The patients wanted to spend time writing a letter for me to send to Mrs. Lieberman. I kept in the line about how they all miss her, but cut out the line about how they also miss their new hats and purses, which were confiscated by the police. The one silver lining of the whole ordeal is that Mrs. Patterson has not once mentioned the dead Mrs. Shimshack, not even when the police took her hat and purse. It's good to know that my experiment has had a lasting effect.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, if you are creating false documents under a British alias, remember it is not enough to simply adopt a name like Nigel or Percy. You must also use the British spelling of words, such as "organise" and "colour."

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

We really missed Mrs. Lieberman today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, and we're all hoping she gets out of jail soon. I bought a new deck of cards to help keep the patients' minds occupied, but the poker game just wasn't the same without Mrs. Lieberman. And it didn't have that same excitement without real money to play with. We didn't have chips, and elbow macaroni just doesn't have the same pizzazz. Mrs. Henley suggested baking a chocolate cake with a file inside to take to Mrs. Lieberman in jail. Some of the others were gung ho about the idea, but I told them we'd better not make things worse than they already are.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, if you're programming emotions into your robot maid, then be sure to get her a little something for each of the major holidays. You don't want what happened here at Winsome Headquarters this morning to happen to you. When my robot maid saw that she was the only one not getting a Valentine's Day gift, she flew into a jealous rage and tore up everyone's cards, threw the flowers in the trash, and flushed the chocolates down the toilet.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

If there is a questionable package you need to send through the mail, now is the perfect time. Slap a few Valentine's Day stickers on the box, and the postal workers will let it go. No one wants to ruin a Valentine's Day surprise.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I had trouble concentrating in school yesterday and today, and so decided to walk over to the Birch Street Nursing Home to see if Mrs. Lieberman and Mrs. Patterson were out of jail. The head nurse was surprised to see me and reminded me that I don't get paid for any unscheduled visits. I told her that was fine, and asked her about the two patients. It turns out Mrs. Patterson is back in her room upstairs, but Mrs. Lieberman is still in jail.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning, the poker game at the Birch Street Nursing Home was interrupted by the police pounding on the front door. As they came in, they told me they had a search warrant. The first thing they did was grab the new vase from the poker table. Then they began questioning some of the patients, who were happy to have some new people to talk to. The female officer complimented Mrs. Henley on her new hat. Mrs. Henley told the officer that Mrs. Lieberman had given all the patients beautiful hats, and purses too. Soon that female officer was on the phone, and it wasn't long before the cops were taking everyone's hats and purses. They also took the poker money, the card shuffler and even the deck of cards. Worst of all, they took Mrs. Lieberman, along with her infrared goggles, some tools and masks from her room. Mrs. Patterson refused to give up her purse and hat, and instead used them to hit one of the officers before running up the stairs to her room. I had never seen her move so quickly. The police followed her, and Mrs. Patterson must have put up a good fight because it was at least twenty minutes before the officers brought her down in handcuffs. I left a note for the head nurse saying that the police had arrested Mrs. Lieberman and Mrs. Patterson.

Spread The Word

If you are in charge of sending out those government alerts to every cell phone in an area when there is crucial information to be disseminated, use your position to let everyone know when there is a new post on the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today during the poker game, the patients kept talking about that beautiful new vase, saying they'd sure like to see it again. Finally Mrs. Lieberman agreed to get it, but only if the others promised not to bang on the table in frustration if they got a bad hand. Mrs. Henley remarked that things have really improved at the Birch Street Nursing Home since they all got new hats and purses, and now a beautiful vase to look at. She then led everyone in a cheer for Mrs. Lieberman, the woman responsible for these gifts.