A Special Message From Edward

It is a stressful time for many people, and I have decided to do my part to help. My traveling massage parlor is now a safe haven for undocumented children. Don't worry, parents, the authorities will never find your adorable kids.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

It's a good idea to befriend a family of cannibals. That way, someone who can consume certain evidence for you is always just a phone call away.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home, there was a beautiful vase on the poker table. Mrs. Lieberman let me pick it up to take a closer look, but told me to be very careful with it. It had flowers in different shades of blue, with gold trim at the top. I offered to run to the store to get a bouquet to put inside, but Mrs. Lieberman told me not to bother because water might damage the vase. But we all enjoyed looking at it during the poker game. Until Mrs. Patterson was dealt a bad hand and pounded on the table, almost knocking the vase over. At that point, Mrs. Lieberman took the vase upstairs to her room, where it would be safe.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman left me in charge of the poker game for several hands while she made some important phone calls. I overheard her say something about the art museum's winter hours, and wondered if she is planning on having me take the patients on a field trip. I didn't ask her about it, because I didn't want to spoil things if it's supposed to be a surprise.

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

If you have the good fortune of being within driving distance of the California wildfires, then you are within driving distance of hundreds of out-of-town firefighters, who are both lonely and in need of back rubs after a week of exhausting work. So get yourself dolled up, book a nice hotel room and let those firefighters know you're there.

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

If you are eager to find a man, Florida might be the place for you. Now that the state government there has enacted its age verification law, making it difficult to access adult websites, the men are getting restless. Take advantage of this perfect opportunity. The men there will be only too happy to shell out money for an excellent dinner in order to get a little attention.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Because I was away on a road trip with Grandmother for the New Year, and was too tired to organize anything last Saturday, today I had the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home announce their New Year's resolutions. But they got confused, and kept asking if it was really New Year's Eve again. They were upset that they'd lost another year. Except for Mrs. Henley, who kept shouting "Happy New Year!" and blowing into something she thought was a noisemaker.

Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

While an artificial intelligence companion might seem like an exciting option in today's dating world, keep in mind that no computer-generated partner is going to buy you a nice dinner and expensive jewelry. So don't waste your time with this nonsense. It's best to go the tried-and-true route of meeting men at bars.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, if you are driving to a wildfire to dispose of evidence, be careful about smoke inhalation. Wear a mask, and keep your time in that area to a minimum.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I was tired walking to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, because we got back to Winsome Headquarters late last night. To celebrate the New Year, Grandmother took us on a special road trip, and we helped her dispose of all the leftover evidence from 2024. There was a lot. Edward had to hook up the trailer to Grandmother's station wagon. We had such a good time that Grandmother said this might become a new Winsome Family tradition.