Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, remember that if you are out on bail you should not contact any witnesses. Instead, have an associate do that for you.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

During a bathroom break in the poker game today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Lieberman read aloud to me the conditions of her bond. She laughed at all the things she's not allowed to do, including setting foot within a hundred yards of the art museum and JoAnn's Hats And Purses.

A Parenting Tip From Grandmother Winsome

For your family photos, arrange your children in the order of preference, with your favorites closest to you in the center. That way, if need be, it will be easy to crop out the others at a later date.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today during a tense hand of poker at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Henley suddenly blurted out that she didn't care if the hats and purses were hot, that she appreciated the gesture. Mrs. Lieberman thanked her and said if she's able to beat the rap at her upcoming trial she will do her best to replace all the items the police confiscated.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, if you plan on dumping a body in the ocean, for heaven's sake, do not embalm it first! Embalming a body actually helps preserve it, and will likely keep certain fish from finding it a tasty treat.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Monday I took Mrs. Lieberman's stack of money to the jail to bail her out. But the man behind the desk wouldn't take the money. He told me I was legally too young to bail someone out of jail, and that the money had to be presented at the courthouse anyway. I was able to talk Jane into driving me yesterday after school and delivering the bail. All I had to do was tell her that there would be lots of single lawyers there. It took a while, but afterward we were able to pick up Mrs. Lieberman at the jail and drive her back to the Birch Street Nursing Home. So today, the poker game at the Birch Street Nursing Home was back to normal, though we still need to replace the card shuffler that the police confiscated.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If a stranger calls your name, don't react until you're certain he is not there to serve you papers.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, we received a collect call from Mrs. Lieberman in jail. The first thing she did was remind me that the call was being recorded. Then she told me she was touched by the patients' letter that I had sent. She said she was doing well, and that the food is better there than at the Birch Street Nursing Home, but that the poker game isn't as much fun. I asked her when she's coming back, and she told me it all depends on when someone might bail her out. She then told me that when I do my rounds to please fix the loose floorboard under her bed. I knew what she meant, and Monday after school I will take the money to jail to get her out.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you are running for political office, in all your speeches be sure to say that it's time this country got back to Winsome Family values.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Mrs. Lieberman is still in jail. And for the second week in a row, the poker game wasn't much fun at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Before lunch, we had given up on the game entirely. The patients wanted to spend time writing a letter for me to send to Mrs. Lieberman. I kept in the line about how they all miss her, but cut out the line about how they also miss their new hats and purses, which were confiscated by the police. The one silver lining of the whole ordeal is that Mrs. Patterson has not once mentioned the dead Mrs. Shimshack, not even when the police took her hat and purse. It's good to know that my experiment has had a lasting effect.