Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 26)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I went to the Birch Street Nursing Home and covered the bathroom floor with sand and put seaweed in the tub to make them feel like they're at the beach.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 25)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I called Mrs. Chang on the phone, pretending to be her daughter, and wished her a happy birthday.

Grandmother Winsome’s Tips For Better Living

Keeping secret video recordings of all your friends and acquaintances can make things easier for you when you’re invited to a wedding. Rather than buy a gift, simply allow the friend to take ownership of his or her video. That person will appreciate having it safely in his or her possession, and you’ll save time and money. Remember to keep an extra copy for when your friend divorces and remarries.

Fanny Mail: A Question About Feelings

Hi, Kiddies! I am always tickled pink to answer letters from fans. This weekend I received a letter from Ivy Lee of Monterey Park, California.

Ivy writes, “Dear Grandmother Winsome, I always feel bad when I hit someone with my car. But today’s little mishap was certainly due to no fault of mine. I made a right turn, and the old man was just standing there in the middle of the street. So of course I hit him. Yet I still feel bad. How do I put an end to these uncomfortable feelings so that I can get on with my day?”

Ivy, I think a lot of people feel guilty about things over which they have no control. Often these feelings pass on their own. But of course they don’t pass quickly enough. I find that a little whiskey does the trick. You might even try drinking at the start of the day, before you go out. That way, you may be able to avoid bad feelings altogether.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 24)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I took the leftover sweets from my last-day-of-school picnic to the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home because some of them told me they're not provided with enough dessert there.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 23)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I told Mrs. Beaumont she might be reincarnated as a giraffe.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 22)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I painted all nine of Mrs. Shimshack's toenails a bright pink.

A Tip From Edward

To lessen the chance of any escapes, paint your windows shut.  Then, to avoid any suspicion, simply take a thin black marker and add a line where the window meets the sill. That way, everything will appear normal to any busybodies who happen by.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 21)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I told Mrs. Geffner that blue is a pretty color for hair.

A Message From Jane

We need to protect endangered species, particularly the ones that would provide us with beautiful fur coats. For example, if there were more snow leopards in the world, then it wouldn’t be as difficult for us to buy full-length coats made from their gorgeous furs. Help lift restrictions on fashion. Protecting animals helps us all.

Fanny Mail: A Relationship Question

Today I received an email from Hector Rodriguez.

Hector writes: “My girlfriend likes to leave the lights on when we make love. But that makes it much more difficult for me to fantasize that she’s my mother. How do I convince her to keep the lights out, and to say, ‘That’s a good boy, that’s a good boy’ when I please her?”

Hector, just tell her what you like. In my experience, being forward about one’s wishes always works best. And if the person doesn’t respond well, then you know she’s not the right one for you.