A Grandmother Winsome Christmas Tip

Kiddies, if you're old and on a fixed income, and as a result are unable to purchase gifts for your family, consider getting rid of some of your possessions. Tell your loved ones your gift to them is being less of a burden. They will be thrilled to have fewer things to throw out after you die.

A Grandmother Winsome Christmas Tip

Kiddies, it can be difficult to think of enough things to say to fill up all that blank space in Christmas cards, so in large letters write, "Follow Grandmother's Fanny Game."

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

In the excitement of making holiday preparations, don't forget to have all your prescriptions filled.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

If you are dropping an unwanted baby in one of those baby boxes this week, why not add the festive touch of wrapping the baby in tinsel and taping a bow to its head. It will certainly help cheer up those who have to work at the fire station through the holidays.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

When applying for a position as Santa Claus, be sure to read the job description carefully. Apparently, there are some places hiring Santas to work remotely. How frustrating it would be to land that coveted position only to discover that the cute children will be seated on your virtual lap rather than on your actual lap.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

Kiddies, be mindful when wrapping Christmas presents, because the transparent tape can easily capture your fingerprints. My suggestion is to use a gift bag.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

After your holiday dinner, before scraping any remaining food from the plates into the trash, be sure to look through it carefully for any missing dentures.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

Fear of catching the coronavirus is a great excuse to avoid kissing unattractive people under the mistletoe.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

While children likely won't notice the stains on your Santa outfit, their parents might. You don't want to jeopardize your job at the mall, so have your costume professionally cleaned.

Winsome Family Christmas Tips

Kiddies, I know the holidays are a busy time for most people. So if you have a lot of evidence that you don't yet have time to dispose of properly, put it in large cardboard boxes and wrap those boxes in pretty paper to use as part of your elaborate outdoor holiday display. That will buy you another month before you have to dispose of it.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

This year, Christmas carolers are not only potential witnesses, but likely spreaders of a deadly virus, so kick them off your property immediately.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

If you don't feel like buying presents for your children this Christmas, tell them that chimneys are a hot spot for the coronavirus, and to protect Santa's health you've sent a letter to the North Pole and instructed him to skip your house this year.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

Kiddies, some people leave their curtains open at night in order to show off their Christmas trees. You can use this opportunity to take a peek at what else they may have inside.

A Christmas Tip From Edward

If Santa does anything to frighten you tonight, just do as the popular holiday song says and "jump in bed and cover your head because Santa Claus comes tonight."

A Christmas Tip From Edward

If you work as a shopping mall Santa, tell the children rather than leaving out milk and cookies, they should do Santa a better favor and leave their bedroom window open so Santa doesn't have to go down the chimney.

A Christmas Tip From Jane

Everyone knows that some of the best sales of the year occur the day after Christmas, but that all the good stuff is grabbed by the store's employees before you even wake up. So in these last few days before the holiday, hide any items you wish to purchase and then return on December 26th to claim them. The best place to hide them is around the tree in the store's Christmas display. When you go into the changing room, bring some flattened cardboard boxes, wrapping paper, scissors and tape. Simply wrap up the items you want and slip them under the Christmas tree in the holiday display, and they will be there waiting for you the day after Christmas.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

If your child is old enough to ask questions like how Santa gets into your apartment without a chimney, your child is old enough to learn there is no Santa.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

Don't forget your stillborn children on Christmas, Kiddies! Get them in the festive spirit by putting Santa hats on their jars.

A Christmas Tip From Edward

Whenever the children in your shack begin making noise, simply remind them, "You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry," just as the popular Christmas song says.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

If the wait in line to meet Santa at the mall is more than twenty minutes, it is time to tell your child that Santa Claus isn't real.