Edward's "For Your Information"

Not every playground contains the same quality of children. And while certain people do appreciate you sharing your experiences, remember that it is never a good idea to use your name when writing online reviews of specific playgrounds.

Edward's "For Your Information"

An outdoor ice skating rink is a great place to find children who need their bumps and bruises kissed.

Edward's "For Your Information"

A "Student Driver" sign in the back window of a car doesn't necessarily mean the driver is a teenager.

Edward's "For Your Information"

During the pandemic, adults are choosing some surprising ways to communicate with each other. So be aware that chalk on the sidewalk out in front of a house is no longer a clear indication that a child lives there.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Now that most schools across the country are closing due to the coronavirus, it is a great time to offer your services as a babysitter. Parents who still have to go in to work are too stressed out and desperate to run background checks or ask for references.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Parents routinely dismiss it when their children tell them they saw a man under their bed, believing it was just a bad dream.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Dressing up as a cartoon character and visiting a theme park is a great way to meet lots of cute children. And the giant foam head will keep your identity hidden, which is especially important if a court has ordered you to maintain a distance from children.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Some parks have special fenced areas for children to play. Adults not accompanying a child are prohibited from entering those areas. But a plastic doll wrapped in a blanket will fool most people, especially if it's in a stroller.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Telling young children the secret password for entry to your tree fort will make them feel special.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Wearing your Santa Claus outfit makes it easier to convince children it is safe to accept a ride from you.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Children won't be alarmed if they wake up in the middle of the night to see someone dressed in a Santa Claus suit outside their window. A certain Christmas carol has groomed them to expect Santa to watch them while they're sleeping.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Putting up signs on your shack that say "Danger" and "Do Not Enter" and "Children Not Allowed" is certain to attract a number of children.

Edward's "For Your Information"

It's not a bad idea to be seen with someone your own age from time to time.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Visiting children in the hospital is actually considered to be a good deed, so you don't need to sneak around.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Back-to-school shopping has begun and the department store changing rooms are extra busy.

Edward's "For Your Information"

A good way to keep up with today's music is to attend junior high school dances.

Edward's "For Your Information"

School children become very confused and distracted when a fire alarm is pulled first thing in the morning.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Early to bed, early to rise keeps you on the same schedule as all the lovely young schoolchildren.

Edward's "For Your Information"

Parents of blind children often advertise their offspring with street signs that say "Blind Child." So if that's what you're looking for, part of your work is already done.

Edward's "For Your Information"

When choosing a traveling companion, it's best to pick someone with your own hair color and skin complexion. That way, it's easier to convince the authorities that he's your son.