Grandmother Winsome's Cryonics Experiment, Phase I Results

Kiddies, as you know, I've been working on a ground-breaking cryonics experiment, and it was a Fanny Mail that got the ball rolling on this one. Ray Anderson had written to me, asking if defrosting his fiancée's father for their wedding and then re-freezing him would cause any further damage to his body. I promised him I'd have an answer before the wedding invitations went out. On January 21st, I froze fifteen cats in my own cryogenic tanks. Well, today, after removing three of the cats from their tanks, I have that answer.

Ray, as you know, we wanted to see what damage might occur when the cats are exposed to the elements for a limited period of time. We chose to leave the cats in the back yard for a total of two hours forty-five minutes, which is the time Cindy calculated you would need, taking into consideration the length of the ceremony and travel time, as well as allowing for family photos and a quick appearance at the reception. And I am thrilled to say the experiment is a success! Ray, there doesn't seem to be any damage to the cats, at least none that we can see. We don't know about lasting damage yet, though I have resealed those three cats in their tanks for future research. But, Sweetie, appearance is really all that matters here, for your fiancée's sake. Then later, when her father is unfrozen again, if it turns out there is damage, no one will be able to pinpoint this brief wedding excursion as the cause. Enjoy your special day and have a wonderful honeymoon!

Cryonics And You, A New Poll

My recent poll on cryonics didn't get as many votes as I had thought it would. In fact, it did not receive enough votes for the data to be meaningful, and so I have not included a graph of the results. The question was, "If you're going to be cryogenically frozen, how far into the future would you want to be thawed?" The possible responses were 5 years, 25 years, 100 years, 500 years, 1,000 years, and 10,000 years. Several people contacted me to explain they didn't vote in the poll because they do not want to be cryogenically frozen, as they are afraid of what life will be like in the future. So I've posted a follow-up poll, Kiddies. Located in the upper right corner of the screen, the new poll asks:

What is your biggest fear about coming back in the future? 

• I'd still have outstanding bills
• Humans will be enslaved by an alien race
• The Earth will be a barren wasteland
• Certain relatives might still be alive

Cast your votes by March 11th.

Grandmother Winsome's Cryonics Experiment

I am just about ready to start my cryonics experiment, Kiddies! Cindy did a superb job picking out the cats. Of the sixteen she collected, only one did not meet my rigid criteria. In moments, the cats will be sealed into the cryogenic tanks. The Mexican maid is wearing her rubber gloves to protect her from scratches by the cats and from the cold temperature. In my research, I found that the temperature most often accepted by the scientific community is -196 degrees Celsius, so that's the temperature I'm using. Updates on this experiment will be posted here on Grandmother's Fanny Game.

Cindy Helps Out Around The Laboratory

I told Grandmother I wanted to pitch in more around the laboratory this year. This morning she gave me the important job of finding the healthiest cats in the area for her new experiment. After looking around my neighborhood for several hours, I found only one cat, and it was missing a leg and its whiskers, and appeared to be sleeping. So I walked to another neighborhood to find the cats Grandmother needs. It feels good to follow through on my New Year's resolution.

Grandmother Winsome's Cryonics Experiment

Kiddies, the cryogenic tanks arrived this morning! I am setting them up and Cindy is outside gathering the cats. I predict my experiment is going to be more successful than the ones done on humans, because I won't wait for my subjects to die before freezing them.

Grandmother Winsome's Cryonics Experiment

While waiting for the cryogenic tanks to arrive, I've been doing more research. I've concluded that the best spot in Winsome Headquarters to carry out this experiment is the smallest, coldest room, which is the Mexican maid's quarters, deep in the back of the basement. It's been nearly a year since my neighbors' maids were taken by immigration officials, and in all the time since then the authorities have not once stepped foot on the grounds of Winsome Headquarters, so I think my Mexican maid will be safe sleeping in the laundry room. I expect the cryogenic tanks to arrive any day now, Kiddies!

Grandmother Winsome's Cryonics Experiment

Kiddies, yesterday's Fanny Mail from Ray Anderson got me so excited that I immediately began my research. Cryonics is an intriguing field, and there is still a lot of speculation and conjecture, making it an area perfect for experimenting. Certain connections I have came through for me, and I was able to obtain several cryogenic tanks, which should arrive by the end of the week. I went with the smaller models, designed just for human heads, because my test subjects will fit well in those.