Grandmother Winsome's Eventful Super Bowl Sunday

Kiddies, yesterday I won a considerable amount of money on the Super Bowl, but lost the Mexican maid. She succumbed to the implant left by the aliens. After the game, Cindy told me the maid seemed to be in bad shape, and when I went outside to check, I saw that she was right. I brought the maid into my laboratory so I could perform a hasty operation to find and remove the listening device the aliens had planted inside her body, but was too late. The device was impossible to locate, and the maid didn't make it. To be safe, I burned her body. I'm going to have to use a small portion of my Super Bowl winnings to put a classified ad in the paper for a new Mexican maid.

Unusual Activity At Winsome Headquarters

A few days ago, after noting some strange behavior from the Mexican maid, I instructed Cindy to keep an eye on her for me. And Cindy has done just that. Today she told me that the maid has been vomiting. If the aliens did implant a listening device inside the maid, this could be a sign of her body trying to reject it. It seems more and more certain that the aliens are still trying to monitor my activity. As a precaution I've secured the maid to a chair behind Winsome Headquarters, and told Cindy to stand watch from a window and keep me apprised of any developments in her condition.

Unusual Activity At Winsome Headquarters

Kiddies, I've been back from Winsome Auxiliary Building G for a few days now, and I've noticed some strange behavior from the Mexican maid. She has been lingering over my laboratory equipment when doing her dusting, and spending a lot of time in the bathroom. I fear she may have been compromised by the alien presence while I was gone. It occurs to me that the aliens could have easily taken the Mexican maid and planted some sort of listening device somewhere inside her. So I told the maid to lie on the floor, and ran a metal detector over her entire body. That didn't turn up anything, but that doesn't necessarily mean that no device is present. So to be on the safe side, I've ceased speaking to the Mexican maid about anything important. Of course, I've never allowed her to learn to read or write, so if there is something I need her to do that I wish to remain secret, I will simply pantomime the required activity. I told Cindy to keep an eye on the maid, for if her strange behavior continues, I will have no choice but to rely on my brief experience as an amateur surgeon to discover the location of the alien device.

Away From Winsome Headquarters

Greetings from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. The Mexican maid just called to alert me that the lights have stopped flickering at Winsome Headquarters, so it seems the alien surveillance there is at an end. I'm heading home, Kiddies!

Away From Winsome Headquarters

This is Grandmother Winsome reporting from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. Earlier this morning, I recalled the combination to the old safe I'd hidden beneath the floorboards in the back closet. In the safe I found a large manila envelope containing special papers and documents. One of those papers was a hastily written note listing the location where a man was being secretly held until I could question him about an important matter. But unfortunately many years passed and I never got back to him, and doubt he would be of much use to me now.

Away From Winsome Headquarters

This is Grandmother Winsome reporting from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. I have an update, Kiddies. The power is back on at Winsome Headquarters, so the Mexican maid is able to do her vacuuming and other chores. She told me, however, that the lights still flicker from time to time, so the aliens may still be present. I've ordered the Mexican maid to spend the nights on the roof, watching for any extraterrestrial activity, and to alert me of any developments. I instructed her to cover herself in pine tar to blend in with the shingles.

Away From Winsome Headquarters

This is Grandmother Winsome reporting from Winsome Auxiliary Building G. I will be conducting Winsome Family business here until the possible alien surveillance of Winsome Headquarters is finished. Flickering lights a couple of days ago warned me of a potential alien presence. It's a good thing the cryogenic tanks in the basement are powered by a separate generator, for the Mexican maid just told me the electricity went out completely this morning, and has not come back on. I wouldn't want those cats defrosting prematurely. My decision to leave Winsome Headquarters has proved to be a wise one, and I'm pleased to be a safe distance from the aliens.

Away From Winsome Headquarters

Kiddies, to avoid a possible alien abduction, I am conducting Winsome Family business from one of my auxiliary buildings. I'll be here until I am certain that any alien surveillance of Winsome Headquarters is concluded. It has been a while since I've used this building, and from what I can tell from my first day here, the area's population has decreased in the intervening years. Yet the cat population has grown. Also, cuts in the town's budget have resulted in there being only one police car. Those factors mean it will be easy to conduct some research while I'm here.

An Announcement From Winsome Headquarters

Kiddies, the lights have been flickering all morning. While the chances are slim that those fluctuations in the electric current were caused by aliens, Grandmother Winsome is not going to risk it. So, during the time that Winsome Headquarters may be under alien surveillance, I will be posting from one of the Winsome satellite buildings in a neighboring state.