Fanny Mail: News From Beyond

Kiddies, today I received an unusual letter from Madame Esmeralda of San Diego, California. Madame Esmeralda writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I've been working as a medium for nearly twenty years now. I have several regular clients, including Tracy Galeen, a woman who routinely has me contact her mother. Since her mother died in 2015, Tracy has visited me weekly to speak with her. This past week, when I made contact with Tracy's mother, she expressed a strong unwillingness to speak to Tracy. She wished only to speak to Grandmother Winsome. I took down verbatim what the spirit of Nancy Galeen wished to relate to you. Nancy Galeen, from beyond the grave, says: 'Dear Grandmother Winsome, I've been a fan of your blog since its inception, and am happy to learn that I can still access it from this other plane of existence. Apart from reading the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog, there is little that I want to do here in the afterlife. Mostly, I just want to rest. But my daughter keeps contacting me. When I was alive, she'd call me every week, complaining about her job or her husband or the kids. I thought that would stop once I was dead. In fact, it was the one thing I looked forward to with regards to my demise. But she has continued this trend unabated. How do I tell my daughter that I no longer wish to be bothered?'"

Well, Madame Esmeralda, I am tickled pink to learn that even those who have passed on seek advice from Grandmother Winsome. To Nancy, I suggest you be firm with your daughter and tell her that you are taking a long and much deserved rest, and will no longer be accepting her calls. I often let my machine pick up all my calls, especially when I am hard at work on an experiment and do not wish to be disturbed. Perhaps there is a similar device in the afterlife which you could employ, should your daughter go against your wishes and continue to contact you. If that doesn't work, see if Madame Esmeralda would be willing to tell your daughter that she is no longer able to contact you because you've moved on to the next level of the afterlife.