Kiddies, over the weekend I went through a box of old Fanny Mail, and today I am answering a 2012 letter from Charlie Whitaker of Ashburton, New Zealand. Charlie writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I've been dating a woman for about a year, and at first things were going really well. The problem is she has a conjoined twin, and now I've fallen in love with the twin. I know it would break my girlfriend's heart to learn this, but it's proving difficult to keep our affair secret from her. Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated."
Well, Charlie, you may have already found a solution, as your letter is from several years ago. But I am responding anyway, as this is likely not an uncommon problem, particularly along the carnival circuit. Charlie, I imagine you're waiting until your girlfriend is asleep before stealing kisses from her twin. As you must be aware, that can only get you so far. One of these days your girlfriend will wake, and that is a scene you clearly want to avoid. The solution is to slip her some strong sedatives. However, depending on which organs the twins share, this could affect your beloved as well. What you have to ask yourself is if it's important that she be awake while you enjoy those intimate moments.
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