My course for at-risk women is going strong, and last night I held an impromptu supplemental class on dating, specifically on the benefits of dating a blind guy. This class took place at Corner Bowl, my favorite bowling alley. I don't recall all the advice I gave, but here are some key points to keep in mind.
- When ordering at a restaurant, instead of saying the name of the most expensive item on the menu, just point to it and tell your server, "I'll have this tonight." And then – no matter what it is you've actually ordered – you can say to your date at some point, "Wow, they make a really good salad here." And while ordinarily you don't want to eat more than the man, with a blind guy, it doesn't matter how much you eat. Go ahead and finish your plate, and he'll be none the wiser.
- To show him you're popular, create an exciting life for yourself, complete with photographic evidence. Simply say stuff like, "This is me with my three best friends visiting Paris." Be sure to research a few things about Paris in the off chance that he managed to get there himself.
- Deliberately step in front of your date, so that when he hits you with his cane you can yelp out in pain. That will cause him to want to make up for his clumsy action by purchasing a nice gift for you.
- With a blind guy, you don't have to worry about makeup. But if you're going out, keep in mind that there might be some attractive sighted men dining at that very restaurant, so it's best to still put in the effort. And if there is someone who catches your eye, you can always excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and instead go flirt with him.
Remember, the next official class in my course will take place this Saturday at a bar to be determined. I hope to see all you at-risk women there.
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