Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 43)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I dressed as Mr. Matthews’ dead wife to help him celebrate their wedding anniversary. Mrs. Matthews must have been a short woman, because the wedding gown was only slightly too big for me. As it got dark, I got a little cold, and Mr. Matthews was nice enough to lend me one of his wife’s sweaters, which was actually a bit tight.

Fanny Mail: A Cat Question Update

Hi, Kiddies. Several months ago I received a letter from Steve of Minneapolis, who had asked a grooming question regarding cats. You can read that letter and my response here.

Today I received an email from Steve, asking for an update. Well, Steve, I'm embarrassed to admit that I had completely forgotten about that experiment. But as soon as I got your message, I went down to check on it. Unfortunately, I cannot provide an update, as those cats have in the meantime died.

Fanny Mail: A Halloween Decoration Question

As you know, Kiddies, Halloween will be here soon. (That is also my birthday, for anyone who wishes to send along a present. Minks are always appreciated.) Many people are busy getting prepared for this wonderful holiday. Recently I received a letter from Ronald Bodkins of Bridgeport, Connecticut, with a Halloween question.

Ronald writes: "Is it possible to donate blood to the local school’s Halloween festivities? What kind of container should it be in? Last year I intended to donate some to a friend’s haunted house, but neglected to put a lid on the container, and as a result the trunk of my car is still stained." 

Well, Ronald, what a thoughtful idea! The children will love the authenticity of the Halloween scares which your (or whoever’s) blood will provide. I would contact the adult in charge of planning the Halloween activities, and see if she is need of some more blood. She’d also likely be able to advise you on the proper choice of containers. But certainly you won’t make the same mistake as last year. Sometimes blood stains are difficult to remove, Sweetie. Happy Halloween!

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 42)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I raked leaves from the entrance to the Birch Street Nursing Home. As I was finishing, Mr. Matthews called down from his open window to say some leaves had also ended up in his room. So I went in and cleaned those up too.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 41)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I put on some of Mr. Matthews' dead wife's perfume because he says it helps him remember the good old days.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Spread The Word

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 40)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I helped decorate the Birch Street Nursing Home for Halloween. I had some extra glow-in-the-dark skull stickers so I put them on the patients' walls just above their beds, where even the invalids can enjoy them.

Grandmother Winsome Wants To Know

Hi, Kiddies! You will notice something new on my blog today. I always love receiving letters and emails from my fans. You've asked me so many excellent questions. Now it's time for me to ask you a question or two. From time to time I'll be posting a poll. Please take a moment to vote, and later I will let you know the results.

Cindy's Quarterly Report

Last December some of the Winsome Family members contributed their New Year's resolutions to my blog. As you know, Cindy's was to do one thing each week to cheer up the elderly. She has kept up with it, even over her summer vacation. Now it is time for Cindy’s third Quarterly Report. This time there has been lots of interesting activity over at the Birch Street Nursing Home, including a bon voyage to Mrs. Chang.

Week 27: Cindy went to the Birch Street Nursing Home to help them celebrate the Fourth of July. Those on one side of the building were able to see the neighboring town's fireworks display through their windows, but had trouble hearing it, so she stood behind them and shouted "BANG" whenever the fireworks went off.

Week 28: She made Get Well Soon cards for all the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home.

Week 29: She made paper-mache dentures as temporary replacements for Mrs. Beaumont after her proper ones were stolen by the Birch Street Nursing Home thief.

Week 30: Cindy promised Mrs. Chang she’d help clear trash from her grave.

Week 31: She showed them her collection of old coins.

Week 32: She found a cushion for Mrs. Chang to replace the pillow she'd given her earlier, which was stolen by the Birch Street Nursing Home thief.

Week 33: She walked with Mrs. Chang next door to the Birch Street Funeral Home and helped her pick out a coffin. After that, they walked across the street to the Birch Street Cemetery, where she helped her pick out a plot.

Week 34: She started keeping a late-night vigil outside the Birch Street Nursing Home in an effort to catch the thief.

Week 35: Cindy wiped the lipstick off of Mrs. Chang’s teeth before they carted away her body.

Week 36: She told the new occupant of Mrs. Chang's room that she could keep Mrs. Chang's cushion.

Week 37: She sang to Mr. Matthews one of his deceased wife’s favorite songs.

Week 38: She helped return the stolen items found in Mrs. Shimshack's closet after her death. 

Week 39: Cindy gave medical aid to Mr. Matthews.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 39)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I gave aid to Mr. Matthews. I had just been telling him how we learned mouth-to-mouth resuscitation in school this week, when he suddenly fell over and had trouble breathing. Good thing for him I was there.

Grandmother Winsome's Friday Message

When preparing your will, be sure to leave all your furs, knives and electrical tape to Grandmother Winsome.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Strategically placed landmines in your yard will help deter criminals from breaking into your home, and may also teach certain neighbors to keep their pets on leashes.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 38)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I helped return the stolen items found in Mrs. Shimshack's closet after her death. It's much easier to understand Mrs. Beaumont now that she has her proper dentures back. She said I can end my late-night vigil.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! Send a Grandmother’s Fanny Game greeting card to everyone you know before the end of the year.

Cindy Cheers Up The Elderly (Week 37)

This week to cheer up the elderly, I sang to Mr. Matthews. He told me he missed his dead wife and wanted to hear her favorite song, "Ring Around The Rosie." That's one I know by heart! He had me sing it to him four times, and told me I sound just like his wife.

Grandmother Winsome's Friday Message

Remember, Kiddies, don't park your bodies in front of a fire hydrant.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! Call your local radio station and request the Grandmother Winsome Theme Song.

Spread The Word

When deprogramming cult members, tell them the transition will be made easier by turning to Grandmother Winsome for advice on all things.