Kiddies, today I received an email from Wilbur McAdoo of Westville, Oklahoma. Wilbur writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, as you are probably aware, it's not very difficult to get a pardon these days. Still, I was really happy to receive one for my felony, at least until I realized that it meant I was again eligible for jury duty. Is there a way to remain both out of prison and out of the jury pool?"
That's a good question, Wilbur. No one wants to deal with jury duty, though it's not quite as bad as being imprisoned. The good news is there are ways to avoid it without getting arrested for another felony. You could become a law enforcement official or licensed attorney or judge, for people in those occupations are not eligible for jury duty. Of those three, law enforcement official is the only one that doesn't require any education, and so is the easiest, quickest route. But if that is not an appealing option, another thing to do is have sexual relations with all the judges in your town. While that won't get you out of the jury pool, a relationship with a judge will disqualify you from serving. In a lot of places, being a student keeps you from having to serve, so you could enroll in a free community college course. Just be sure to never finish the course.
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