Kiddies, I just received an email from Martin Brown of Rutland, Vermont. Martin writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, now that Covid restrictions have loosened, my family is planning a big Thanksgiving celebration. I fear I can't use the pandemic as an excuse for my absence this year. Do you have any suggestions for airtight excuses? In previous years, I've used illness, car trouble, and taking a friend to the hospital. And one year, out of desperation, I committed a small crime right in front of the police station in order to get arrested on Thanksgiving. Last year, Covid kept the family apart on the holiday. But what can I do about Thanksgiving this year?"
Well, Martin, one option is to tell your family you've volunteered at a soup kitchen, and don't want to risk getting anyone sick after being around all those homeless people. If you think they wouldn't believe you'd volunteer, then tell them a pipe burst in your home and you are stuck there wringing out towels until a plumber can arrive after the holiday.
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