Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today there was a surprise waiting for me at the Birch Street Nursing Home. The patients turned the activity room into a theatre, and performed a skit for me. Everyone was involved, even Hazel. Mr. Oliveras and Mr. Matthews had remembered their fire drill roles and carried her down the stairs so she could participate. When the patients were all ready, Mrs. Kunkle announced the skit's title, which was "A Day At The Birch Street Nursing Home." The whole thing was wonderful, but the funniest part was when Mr. Pearlman missed his cue, and Mrs. Henley, who said she was playing me, pushed him onto the stage. When the skit was over, the patients told me it was their way of thanking me for making the activity room such a special place.

Fanny Mail: A New Fanny Game Fan

Kiddies, I just received a delightful email from Lindsey Jacobson of Boston, Massachusetts. Lindsey writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I recently learned about your blog while playing a game designed to boost employee morale while we work from home during the coronavirus pandemic. One of the questions that was posed to everyone was, 'What has been your favorite hobby during this time of sheltering in place?' One of my co-workers, Irene, answered, 'Reading the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog.' Curious about the name, and with quite a bit of time on my hands, I checked out your site. And now I am pleased to call myself a fan. When we are allowed back in the office, I will be certain to buy Irene a large coffee."

Thanks, Sweetie! Welcome aboard. And thanks to Irene for thinking of a creative way to help spread the word!

Grandmother's Fanny Game Fan Poll

The coronavirus outbreak has resulted in significant changes in people's behavior, including social distancing and the wearing of masks in public. This reminded me of a couple of questions from the 2017 Grandmother's Fanny Game Fan Poll, and I thought I'd take the opportunity to share the data with you. One question I asked was, "How often do you wear masks during your activities?" Of the 221 respondents, almost all indicated that their work calls for the wearing of masks at least on occasion, but only four people said they wear masks one hundred percent of the time. I also asked, "How often do you travel abroad?" Obviously, with certain travel restrictions now in place, the respondents' answers probably no longer strictly apply. That being said, I was surprised to find that only twelve percent of those who answered travel abroad at least once a year. And nearly fifty percent said that they do not travel abroad at all. One respondent wrote that as much as he would love to do some work in other countries, any such travel would be ill-advised given his situation. While I was going through the data, another question caught my eye. Though unrelated to the current pandemic, I found the results quite interesting. I asked, "Who do have assist you with your experiments?" I was tickled to find that more than a dozen of my fans have used escaped convicts. What a great idea! Any time they might hesitate to comply with some particularly dangerous or odious task, you can just threaten to turn them in.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Things are going so well with the patients over at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Today Mrs. Henley was all smiles, and announced to everyone in the activity room that she had lost six pounds. I told her if she keeps that up, I will have to make her a smaller dress.

Jane's Volunteer Work

Today, at the request of the head of the rehab clinic, I began focusing on the female patients. I started my three-part course for alcoholic women, using the same syllabus I used at the women's center a few years ago. This week's subject: "Building Confidence By Using Makeup And Clothing To Enhance Your Best Features And Hide The Rest." We made quite a bit of progress today, covering the first four items from my outline:

• Using ample makeup to appear younger 
• Choosing the right attention-grabbing shade of red for your lips
• How to hide a bruise with makeup
• Negotiating with manicurists

Over the next few days, we will tackle the following topics:

• Why tweezers are your friends 
• Stylish sunglasses cover up the effects of a rough night 
• The perils of open-toe shoes 
• Loose-fitting sweaters help hide extra pounds and are in style right now
• Fur coats show that you have class, and will also keep you warm when you have to walk home alone late at night

I realize those last two items might be tough during the summer months, but building confidence is something these women must do year round.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mr. Matthews was waiting for me at the front desk. He said that while most of the patients have been enjoying the improvements I've made to the activity room, he doesn't use it all that much, preferring to spend his time in his own room. So he asked me if I would spruce up his bedroom a bit, give it the same magic touch I had given the activity room. I thought about it for a moment, then went out back near the tool shed and dug up a small plant for him to put on his window sill. He said he loved it, and that he was going to call it Windy.

Jane's Tips For Social Interactions

The coronavirus provides the perfect excuse to keep a safe distance between you and anyone on the street who looks like he might ask you for money.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, many of the patients were already up and in the activity room. Mr. Oliveras and Mrs. Lowe were busy working on one of the jigsaw puzzles I had bought as a gift for the patients for always helping with my chores. When he saw me come in, Mr. Oliveras thanked me again for buying some new puzzles. He said it was great doing a puzzle that they can actually finish because it has all the pieces.

Jane's Volunteer Work

Today the head of the rehab clinic where I am volunteering pulled me aside and told me she'd noticed I'd been spending all my time with the men there, and asked that I work with the women too. Since Jefferson and Mr. Walton are no longer patients there, I decided to take her up on her suggestion. I am now planning a three-part course for female alcoholics, using the same syllabus I used at the women's center in December of 2017. That means next week is "Building Confidence By Using Makeup And Clothing To Enhance Your Best Features And Hide The Rest." I am looking forward to helping those women.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

The curtains that I bought are a hit with the patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Today Mrs. Henley told me it is a delight to be able to sit in the activity room without having to wear her heavy sunglasses.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today was a fun day at the Birch Street Nursing Home. Since the patients have been so good about doing my list of chores, I wanted to do something nice for them with a portion of the money the head nurse left for me on Saturday. I decided to spruce up the activity room since they spend so much time there now. I bought curtains, and also some new puzzles and games for them to play. And then I hosted a bingo game for them, with a $20 cash prize. All the patients cheered when Mrs. Lieberman shouted "Bingo!"

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

The patients at the Birch Street Nursing Home have been in good spirits all week. And I am in good spirits too, because today I got paid. The head nurse would always leave ten dollars with my list of chores, but since the pandemic started and the nurses have been working from home, the head nurse hasn't come in at all. Grandmother asked me last night what I've been doing with all the extra money I've earned. When I told her that the head nurse hadn't been in to pay me, Grandmother shook her head and said she had a phone call to make. This morning when I arrived, there was a big stack of money with a note for me on the front desk thanking me for all my good work. Not only did I get paid in full for the last eight weeks, but I was also paid in advance for the next four. So I guess they expect this pandemic to go on a while longer. This will give me a chance to do some serious work in my basement laboratory at the Birch Street Nursing Home.

Jane's Volunteer Work

Today I was surprised to see Jefferson back at the rehab clinic where I volunteer. When I told him I didn't expect to see him back so soon, he said he was there to pick up Rodrigo for their date. He asked how things were going with Mr. Walton. When I explained to him how I ended our courtship after he decided to take some woman named Samantha to Europe instead of me, Jefferson gave me a hug and said that Samantha is Mr. Walton's daughter.

Jane's Volunteer Work

Today Mr. Walton really blew it. When I arrived at the rehab clinic ready to celebrate his final day there, I saw that he was on his cell phone. Not trying to be too nosy, I glanced over his shoulder and was thrilled to see that he was booking plane tickets. Once he was off the phone, I went into his room with my large purse full of bottles of champagne, and opened the first bottle, using the special technique he'd shown me to muffle the sound. I was now even more eager to celebrate, when he said he had good news to share with me. He then went right ahead and told me that he'd booked two tickets for Europe for him and someone named Samantha. I got so upset, I threw my glass of champagne at him, grabbed my purse and stormed out of the clinic.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, in your excitement over finally being allowed to legally wear a mask inside a bank, don’t forget to bring the note for the teller, especially as she might not understand you through your mask.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

The nurses of the Birch Street Nursing Home continue to work from home, and the patients continue to be in high spirits, spending much of their time together in the activity room. The only rough patch of the day came when Mrs. Patterson started shouting at Mrs. Lieberman, accusing her of running a crooked card game. I don't know what Mrs. Lieberman said to her, but Mrs. Patterson quickly quieted down.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

When I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, most of the patients were already up and in the activity room. They'd set up some of the old games, like checkers and backgammon. Mrs. Lieberman was even dealing cards over in the corner. And Mrs. Henley was getting a jump-start on the chores, handing out medicine to all the players. I've never seen so much activity in the activity room.

Jane's Volunteer Work

Today Jefferson checked out of the rehab clinic where I am volunteering. I was sad to see him go, because I really enjoyed our morning talks over drinks. He wished me good luck with Mr. Walton, and told me to keep an eye on a young male nurse named Rodrigo for him. I promised him I would.

Edward's Traveling Coronavirus Testing Site

This time of year I'm usually busy in the back of my ice cream truck, providing tasty treats to children. Not this year. Most children's activities have been canceled, and many of the parks and playgrounds where they like to gather are closed due to the pandemic. So I've refitted my ice cream truck so that it now doubles as a traveling coronavirus testing site. I'll be traveling from neighborhood to neighborhood this weekend, testing all the cute children to make sure that they're healthy enough for certain activities. So, children, when you see my ice cream truck in your neighborhood, come on out for a coronavirus test and an ice cream cone.

Jane's Volunteer Work

Things are going really well with Mr. Walton at the rehab clinic, so well that we may have become a bit careless in our fun. This morning, during my first drink with Jefferson, Jefferson cautioned me to be more careful because the nurses found a couple of empty bottles on the premises last night after I left. He told me not to worry too much, because it's not unheard of to find alcohol at rehab clinics, but that we don't want to give the nurses any reason to keep a more watchful eye.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I saw on TV that in some places people are going back to work. Well, the nurses at the Birch Street Nursing Home aren't taking any chances, and are continuing to work from home. That means I'll be earning some extra money again this week. The patients were in much better spirits today, many of them even gathering in the activity room for the first time in several weeks. This might be partly because Mrs. Lieberman washed their clothes on Saturday. In fact, Mr. Matthews was the only patient still sick in bed. He demanded fresh cups of tea, as usual, but I was busy down in my basement laboratory, so I put Mrs. Macmillan in charge of refilling his cup. It seemed by mid-afternoon, Mr. Matthews was feeling better, because Mrs. Macmillan told me he stopped asking for tea.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, there was a pleasant odor in the air. I stood there for a moment, wondering what it could be, when suddenly Mrs. Lieberman came out of the head nurse's office carrying a basket of laundry. She said, "Good morning, Cindy," and then added, "It just took a little jiggle to get that door open." She then headed up the stairs carrying the basket. I went into the nurse's office, and saw that a door I always thought had been locked was now wide open. Inside was a small washer and dryer. There were also several filing cabinets and a safe in the room. I wish I had tried to jiggle that door open weeks ago. I would have added laundry to the list of chores the patients perform. Since Mrs. Lieberman didn't already have an assigned task, I asked her if she'd do the laundry every Saturday, and after a moment she agreed.