Kiddies, a few minutes ago I received a message from a fan in San Francisco who wishes to remain anonymous because of his particular question. This fan writes, "Dear Grandmother Winsome, what's the best excuse to leave a wedding reception early?"
Sweetie, while an upset stomach always seems to be a good excuse, it is used often enough that others there might see it as suspect. I would also refrain from saying you have other plans or engagements, because those in the wedding party will view this occasion as so important that no other activities could rival it. So I suggest faking an injury, either on the dance floor if you can wait that long, or on the way into the reception. Make it look good. Be sure to fall to the ground, possibly taking a tray or something else with you, so that you will have plenty of witnesses. You want others to make the suggestion that you go home, so that it comes across as not your own wish. But, Sweetie, be sure not to actually hurt yourself or make it look so painful that someone else becomes adamant about driving you home himself. You want to appear injured, but still able to move on your own accord. If someone doesn't immediately suggest you go home, wince and limp with each step you take, and it won't be long before you're out of the reception and onto better things.
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