Kiddies, I just received an email marked "Urgent" from Nick Taylor of Vernon, Ohio. Nick writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, my wife gave birth to our first child last night, but a sense of pride at becoming a father has now turned into worry and fear. When I picked my wife and child up from the hospital today, the orderly handed me a cooler. At first, I thought nothing of it. But during the drive home, I got a little hungry and opened the cooler to see what the hospital provided. I nearly ran off the road when I saw the bloody mess that was in there. Once I regained my wits, I figured that the orderly must have given us the wrong cooler since this one contained an organ. I was about to turn the car around, when my wife calmly told me that the cooler was hers, and that what was inside was the placenta. Grandmother, it gets worse. She told me she planned to eat it tonight for dinner. I didn't know how to respond. I've heard that some women completely snap after giving birth, but thought my wife was stronger than that. It's getting close to dinner time. I hear her in the kitchen now chopping the onions. What should I do?"
Grab your baby and get out of there. From what I've read, once a woman gets a desire for human flesh, she is not easily sated. Nick, both you and your baby are in danger. While your wife is busy cooking, gather up some clothing and any medicine you might need and leave the house. You can return for your other possessions when your wife is out prowling the town for more flesh.
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