Jane's Scientific Experiment

A nurse from the hospital called me today to ask if I was available for a study taking place on Saturday. I told her I didn't think my body could handle another experimental drug so soon, but she told me this time it would be a simple blood draw. So I confirmed the date. The hot young doctor has already seen me in all my favorite outfits, so before Saturday I plan on making a new purchase.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I was a little late getting to the Birch Street Nursing Home today, because I'm still not feeling great after taking part in a scientific experiment at the hospital. It was fun missing school for three days, but I am having trouble walking in a straight line, and I still fall down sometimes. The patients saw that I was struggling a bit, and took care of me today. Mrs. Lieberman helped me to the poker table, and Mrs. Henley gave me some cookies she'd had stashed in her room. Mrs. Kunkle made me several cups of tea throughout the day. When it was time to go, Mr. Matthews said I could sleep in his bed if I thought I'd have trouble walking home. It did take me longer than usual, but I made it back to Winsome Headquarters safe and sound.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you have a job doing the close captioning for the hearing impaired on television, whenever there is a long pause in the dialogue, type in "Follow Grandmother's Fanny Game."

Jane's Scientific Experiment

I had a wonderful time at the hospital this weekend, although the experimental drug the hot young doctor gave me caused me some trouble with my balance. I tried to direct my fall into his arms, but I missed and landed on the floor. When he helped me up, his hand lingered on my shoulder, so I know he's interested. Before I left the hospital today, the doctor came into my room one more time, and told me I would get paid an extra thirty dollars if I referred someone else for the study. I told him I had someone in mind. And as soon as Cindy gets home from school, I am going to let her know about this exciting opportunity.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today I brought Edward's blowtorch to the Birch Street Nursing Home. I spent much of the day using it to weld some loose pieces of the old machine in my basement laboratory. When I was done, I fired up the machine. There was a high-pitched squeal, but the power did not flicker this time, even when the machine got really hot. I washed up in time to join the poker club for a few hands.

Jane's Scientific Experiment

I'm getting ready to head to the hospital. I've laid out my three best nightgowns, because the hot young doctor says I'll be there for a few days. The nurse called me yesterday to remind me to eat something before coming in, saying I should have a full stomach before taking this new experimental drug. I'm looking forward to spending more time with the doctor so he can get to know my favorite places to eat and shop.

Fanny Mail: A Farmer's Question

Kiddies, today I received a delightful letter from Jim Cowden of Spencer, Iowa. Jim writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I own a small farm, and with my wife's help I've managed to get by without a tractor for years. But this week there was an off-season sale that I just couldn't pass up, and now I am the proud owner of a brand new tractor. However, I don't know how to break it to my wife that I no longer need her help. Her excessive size has been beneficial in pulling the plow over our four acres these many years. But now, try as I might, I just can't think of any use for her. And I can't afford to keep her and also gas up the tractor. What's the best way to convince her to move on?"

Well, Jim, there are likely many other farms in your area that could use someone like your wife. Perhaps you could put an ad in the classifieds offering her services. Be sure to stipulate that she has to live on site. If that fails to draw any interest, simply inform her you have fallen in love with your new tractor. Give the tractor a pretty name and buy it a big dress. That should be enough to convince your wife that it is time for her to move on.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today I brought some tools from Winsome Headquarters to work on the old machine in the basement of the Birch Street Nursing Home. I don't want that machine to interfere with the power like it did last week, especially if the doctors need electricity to help Crystal and the other girls. I spent most of the day tinkering down there, but I think I'm going to need to borrow Edward's blowtorch to finish the job.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, dog theft is on the rise, with some criminals holding pets for large ransoms. So if you see any suspicious characters when you're out walking your dog, give the animal a good whack with a rolled up newspaper and tell it it's just no good. That will make potential thieves believe you'd be unwilling to pay any money to get it back.

Jane's Scientific Experiment

I just got home from the hospital. This experiment didn't take very long, but there was still time to flirt with the young doctor while he removed a section of skin from the back of my leg. Before I left, he told me he hoped to see me next week, that he has a new experimental drug coming in. I told him he can count on me.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I decided to follow through on my New Year's resolution and do a little work in my basement laboratory. I powered up the old machine that Grandmother gave me, and everything seemed to be fine, until one of Cinnamon's doctors came down to tell me the power was flickering in her room and he kept having to reset the hairdryer and eggbeater.

Jane's Scientific Experiment

The young doctor didn't called me back yesterday, so today I decided to pay him a visit at the hospital. In case the nurse hadn't given him the message, I wanted him to see that my rash was nearly gone and I'd be ready for some fun this weekend. He seemed surprised to see me and said he didn't have anything scheduled for this weekend, but has an experiment coming up on Monday that I'd be perfect for. That wasn't what I meant, and I was about to tell him so, but then he said that he'd never met such a dedicated test subject, and was thrilled he'd be able to fill another slot for Monday's experiment. So I let it go and signed the consent form. It will be good to see him Monday morning. Besides, I can use the extra hundred dollars.

Jane's Scientific Experiment

This morning I got excited when my phone rang and I saw that it was the hospital calling. But when I picked up, it wasn't the hot young doctor asking me what my plans were for this weekend. Instead, it was a nurse asking if I still had the rash and if I'd had any more side effects after last week's experiment. I told her the rash was nearly gone and I was perfectly healthy, and will be ready for some fun this weekend. She said that was great. Now I just have to wait for the doctor to get the update and find a moment in his busy schedule to give me a call.

Edward's Traveling Massage Parlor

I have once again converted my ice cream truck to the traveling massage parlor, because children gets aches and pains just like adults. And don't worry about the coming storms. I've attached a snow plow to the front of the traveling massage parlor so that I can get to your children wherever they may be.

Jane's Scientific Experiment

I just got home from the hospital. There was a little bit of miscommunication between that young doctor and me, and instead of taking me out on the town on New Year's Eve, he enrolled me in another scientific experiment. Still, it went well, and after he sent the rest of the participants home, he kept me an extra day. He said it was to keep an eye on the rash surrounding the spot of the injection, but I know it was just so he could flirt with me some more.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Yesterday the head nurse at the Birch Street Nursing Home called Winsome Headquarters to ask if I could come in for New Year's Eve. After Grandmother negotiated an extra ten dollars for holiday pay, I made my way over there. The patients and I played lots of poker, but no one was interested in staying up until midnight to ring in the New Year. And today there was no mention of the holiday until Mr. Tanaka asked me what my New Year's resolution was. The first thing I thought of was getting back down to the Birch Street Nursing Home basement to work in my laboratory. He said his was to stay in touch with his family as soon as he finds out their new phone number.