Grandmother Winsome Looks Back At 2020

Kiddies, 2020 is at an end, and I thought it would be fun to look back at the accomplishments of some of your favorite Winsome Family members. Cindy was able to make a lot of money this year working at the Birch Street Nursing Home while her school was closed due to the pandemic. And she has become quite a good little poker player. The pandemic didn't stop Edward from taking his ice cream truck on the road or, more recently, treating children to a visit with Santa Claus. Jane has been quiet the second half of the year, but early on she did some volunteer work at the rehab clinic. As for me, I had to put off my plans to travel to the Orient because of the pandemic, and I was unable to finalize a choice on the replacement for the Mexican maid. However, because I was at Winsome Headquarters for most of the year, I was able to conduct a lot more experiments than I had planned. Also, this year my delightful blog reached 100,000 views. Thanks, Kiddies!

Edward's 2020 Christmas Wrap-Up

I'm a little sad to put away my Santa outfit for another year. Redecorating my ice cream truck as the Santa Experience turned out to be a great idea, and was even more fun than playing Santa at the mall. After all, no one was there to monitor the line, so each child could have as much time with Santa as he wanted. No official photos were taken for the children's parents, but I did take my own set to add to my collection. I didn't make as much money as other years, but this was never really about the money.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, the patients were still in a festive mood, even though Mrs. Henley finished off all the leftover cookies during the night. Mrs. Patterson was feeling cheerful enough to lead the others in a game of bingo before the poker club dealt its first hand. The oldies station was playing all the patients' favorite Christmas songs, and when a slow song came on, Mrs. Kunkle said that Mrs. Lowe and Mr. Oliveras would have enjoyed dancing to it. Everyone agreed. I waited until all the patients went to bed before taking down the Christmas decorations.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home: Christmas Edition

I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home early this morning to decorate for the holiday. I pulled out the two cardboard boxes of Christmas decorations and got the activity room looking festive before the patients even woke up. I opened the bags of cookies I'd brought, and arranged the cookies on a tray. It wasn't long then before Mrs. Lieberman came down to set up the poker tables, and exclaimed that the room looked wonderful. Soon all the patients were playing poker, eating cookies, and enjoying the holiday. Tomorrow I'll have to take down the decorations before the nurses return on Sunday.

Christmas At Winsome Headquarters

Kiddies, you probably recall that my plans for a big Christmas light display fell apart last year when the three applicants for the position of Mexican maid electrocuted themselves and fell off the roof. Well, this year the display is up and lit, and it looks fantastic, thanks to my direction and the current applicant for the position getting over her fear of heights. I've had Edward check, and the pink lights on the roof can be seen for miles. Happy holidays, everyone!

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Mrs. Lieberman and I were both happy to finally have two full tables for poker again at the Birch Street Nursing Home, thanks to the club's newest member, Mr. Shaw. He seems like a very nice person, and though he was quiet and never bluffed, I think he enjoyed himself. I noticed during the game that he was wearing one of Mr. Oliveras' favorite shirts. During a bathroom break, I asked Mrs. Lieberman about it. She told me that she'd gone into the closet where the deceased patients' belongings are stored and pulled out Mr. Oliveras' clothes for him, since he had arrived without any bags. Before I left for the evening, I told the patients that I would be back on Christmas day, and that I'd be bringing cookies.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, it might be better to end your relationship before Christmas rather than brave the crowded stores during a pandemic to find that person a special gift.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

This year, Christmas carolers are not only potential witnesses, but likely spreaders of a deadly virus, so kick them off your property immediately.

An Important Tip From Grandmother Winsome

Kiddies, masks not only protect you from the coronavirus, but also from lip readers.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

When planning your getaway, be aware of street-cleaning schedules and bus routes. You don't want to get stuck behind vehicles that will slow you down.

Edward's 2020 Christmas Plan

Every year I look forward to cleaning my Santa Claus suit and going to the mall to spread holiday cheer to the adorable children. However, the coronavirus pandemic has led the local mall to put stringent restrictions into place for this holiday season, and they are not allowing the children to sit on Santa's lap. So I've decided to set up shop myself. I will be parking my ice cream truck behind the mall and allowing one child at a time to enter the back of the truck, sit on my lap, and tell me everything his heart desires. And if a massage is what he wants, he's in luck, because my truck is still set up as the traveling massage parlor.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, there was a note at the top of my list of chores that a new patient was going to be dropped off. When I shared the news with Mrs. Lieberman, she got excited and said now we can have two full poker tables again. But by the time the car pulled up out front, it was night, and the members of the poker club had already gone to bed. The man in the driver's seat of the car apologized for dropping Mr. Shaw off so late, but said he had to avoid all major roads on his way there. I took Mr. Shaw inside, and helped him get settled into Mr. Oliveras' old room. Mr. Shaw said the room suited him fine, and that he was just happy to be out of the car.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

During this pandemic, when people are working from home and not socializing, it will take longer to realize that someone is missing, allowing you more time to dispose of the evidence properly and carefully. Don't rush, Kiddies!

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, the man came back to pick up what he'd been storing in one of the vacant rooms the last two weeks. After he left, Mrs. Lieberman told me she was relieved that those trunks were no longer in the building.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Keep in mind, Kiddies, that using a disinfectant spray to wipe away fingerprints or DNA no longer appears suspicious. In fact, during this pandemic, your efforts will likely be looked on favorably by anyone who happens to see you.

A Christmas Tip From Grandmother Winsome

If you don't feel like buying presents for your children this Christmas, tell them that chimneys are a hot spot for the coronavirus, and to protect Santa's health you've sent a letter to the North Pole and instructed him to skip your house this year.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

 

Kiddies, because of the pandemic, be sure to build your snowmen six feet apart this winter.