Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Patterson was in a tizzy. The moment I got inside, she began shouting at me that Mrs. Shimshack cannot be allowed to move back in. I tried to remind her that Mrs. Shimshack has been dead for seven years, but Mrs. Patterson ignored me and said she has seen the locked trunks in the vacant room upstairs. She pestered me all morning about the trunks, insisting that I unlock them so she could retrieve her stolen possessions. When I told her that I didn't have the keys, she accused me of being in cahoots with Mrs. Shimshack. Finally Mrs. Lieberman got fed up with our poker game being interrupted, and blurted out that she already looked through everything and none of it was Mrs. Patterson's. She then warned Mrs. Patterson that if she mentioned the trunks again, she'd be kicked out of the poker club.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home: Thanksgiving Edition

Happy Thanksgiving! I spent the holiday at the Birch Street Nursing Home, because the nurses had taken the day off to spend with their families. Each year, I ask the patients to share what they are thankful for. This year there was a common theme. Mrs. Kunkel, Mrs. Henley, Mr. Pearlman, Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Patterson and Mrs. Macmillan all said they are thankful to still be alive. Mrs. Lieberman is thankful that the poker club is back up and running, and nearly at full capacity. I am thankful that homeschooling has given me more opportunities to help Grandmother with her experiments. On the way home from the Birch Street Nursing Home, I had just enough time before dinner to make a brief stop at the Birch Street Cemetery to say hi to Mrs. Lowe, Mr. Oliveras and Hazel.

A Thanksgiving Tip From Grandmother Winsome

Because of the pandemic, it is dangerous to have guests for Thanksgiving dinner this year. So to include those people in your festivities, simply send them photos of your meal before you dig in. You might very well discover you find this preferable to actually having guests in your home. It could be the start of a new Thanksgiving tradition.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, if a loved one is on his deathbed, cheer him up by reminding him of some of the many annoyances of life that he will soon no longer be bothered by. Here are a few examples: dentist appointments, traffic jams, canker sores, telemarketers, junk mail, stubbing one's toes, car repairs, plumbing troubles, mosquitoes, wedding invitations, eye witnesses, taxes, bad internet connections, calling customer service, airport security, rental car cleaning fees, changing the clocks every six months, hidden cameras in public restrooms, searching for misplaced reading glasses, hangovers, nosy neighbors, and socks with holes in them. After hearing that list, your loved one will be happy to move on.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today we had a rare visitor at the Birch Street Nursing Home, but he was not there to visit any of the patients. He said he had seen our classified ad and was wondering if he could use one of the vacant rooms to store some stuff for two weeks. He said he would pay us cash, and offered to pay for a full month. I started to tell him those rooms must be held open for new patients. But then Mrs. Lieberman reminded me we still had two other vacant rooms, and that we could use the money to add a little more excitement to our poker game. So I agreed to his offer. It took him almost an hour to move all his trunks up into the room. Word spread quickly that Mrs. Lieberman was going to divide the money among the players, and we ended up having enough players for both tables to be open.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Some cities are implementing curfews until they are able to get the pandemic under control. So be sure to get updates on the latest restrictions in areas where you're planning operations. You wouldn't want to pull off a successful job only to then get caught because you're breaking curfew.

Cindy's Remote Learning

I'm having a good time homeschooling here at Winsome Headquarters. Nearly every day Grandmother removes me from class early to help her with one of her experiments. Today I learned what temperature is needed for floppy disks to melt. The only things I miss are my school poker club and seeing Sniffles The Seventh at recess.

Edward's Traveling Massage Parlor

Since Halloween, I've converted my ice cream truck into the traveling massage parlor. However, with the coronavirus pandemic still in full swing, I haven't had as many customers as previous years. So let me remind everyone that children are less likely to contract the virus.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Just as Mrs. Lieberman predicted last week, today we had a full table of players for poker at the Birch Street Nursing Home, the first time that's happened in over a month. Mrs. Kunkle was feeling good enough to play several hands even after completing her rounds of touching all the windows and light switches. She and Mrs. Henley also helped me complete my list of chores, which included renewing the ad in the classified section of the newspaper, and making sure it was updated to say three vacancies, not just two. I did take tea up to the rest of the patients, but didn't have to make too many pots because most of them seemed to be doing better. Maybe by next week we'll be able to open up the second poker table.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, no one knows what happens when we die. Pharaohs used to be buried with many of their possessions, including their servants, so they'd have what they needed for the afterlife. I wouldn't worry too much about organizing all that in your wills, Kiddies, but be sure to stipulate that a printout of all my Tips For Better Living be placed in your coffin. That way, you'll be ready for whatever awaits you on the other side.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, if one of your accomplices is hard of hearing, be sure to have a written plan so that during the operation you are not yelling out instructions that could be heard by security guards.

Fanny Mail: Election Results From Georgia

Kiddies, today I received an exciting email from Shandra Monroe of Macon, Georgia. Shandra writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, on Election Day the line at my polling station was really long. I was just about to give up and go home, when the person behind me began talking about Grandmother's Fanny Game. I got so wrapped up in what she was saying, that before I knew it I was at the front of the line. What a tremendous day! Not only did my candidate win, but some legal advice I heard while in line is certain to help my nephew avoid a long prison sentence. Grandmother, when it comes to the best advice, you've got my family's vote."

Shandra, your message tickled me pink. I am so pleased that one of your fellow citizens was spreading the word about Grandmother's Fanny Game, and that my advice is coming in handy for your family. Keep reading the blog, Sweetie!

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, while it might seem fun to make a fashion statement with your mask, remember that you don't want to wear something that makes you more easily identifiable. So when it comes to masks, the plain blue medical ones are best. Or, if you wish to avoid disposable masks, choose basic black.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I was pleasantly surprised to find Mrs. Henley waiting at the poker table. She said she was feeling much better today, and was eager to play. So she, Mrs. Lieberman and I played poker for most of the morning and early afternoon. Mrs. Kunkle wasn't feeling good enough to join in, but she was able to gather enough energy to do two of her rounds of touching all the light switches and windows in the building. Mrs. Lieberman said she is confident that by next week we'll have a full table of players.

Spread The Word

Remember, Kiddies, electioneering is not permitted at polling places, so when you're in line to vote today, instead of discussing the candidates or ballot measures, tell those around you about Grandmother's Fanny Game. Depending on how long the line is, you may even have the chance to share with them several of your favorite posts.