Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, everyone is forgetful at times. So if you see a family leaving, it is best to wait ten minutes before entering their home, just in case they return to grab something they've forgotten.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If work has been running you ragged and you need a mental health day, set your outgoing message to indicate that you will be away from the office, catching up on Grandmother's Fanny Game blog posts.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

If you are an eyewitness to a crime and have no choice but to take the stand against a potentially dangerous person, be sure to alter your appearance or wear a disguise when you appear in court. If you're a man, take the time leading up to the trial to grow a beard. If you're a woman, dye your hair or wear a wig, and spend some time in the tanning booth. Consider stuffing a pillow under your shirt to make yourself look heavier. Then when you approach the witness stand, be sure to walk with a limp, perhaps even using a cane. And remember, "I don't recall" is a perfectly valid response to any particularly damning questions.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

On Monday Mrs. Lieberman told me that poker dealers always count their cards at the end of the day to make sure the deck is full, and that no players walked away with an ace or two. Well, today when I was counting the cards, I found that I was one short. When I told Mrs. Lieberman that the 4 of Clubs was missing, she told me to check with each of the players that had been at my table. I asked them all to check their pockets, but none of them had the card. However, they all wanted to join in the search. After an hour without any luck, Mrs. Henley suggested just making a 4 of Clubs out of an index card. But right then Mrs. Lowe shouted out that she had found the missing card. It was in the box for one of the jigsaw puzzles which she and Mr. Oliveras had been putting together while the other players took bathroom breaks.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If your activities require you to case someone's home, be aware that some of the work might have already been done for you. Check the address online from a computer at the public library. If the home has been up for sale in the past two decades, there will likely be photographs posted by the realtor that show each of the rooms and all points of entry. With that task out of the way, you can spend your time focusing on the schedules and sleep patterns of the occupants.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Help the environment! Catheters can be re-used as drinking straws.

Edward's "For Your Information"

During the pandemic, adults are choosing some surprising ways to communicate with each other. So be aware that chalk on the sidewalk out in front of a house is no longer a clear indication that a child lives there.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

I had a great day dealing poker at the Birch Street Nursing Home. As Mrs. Lieberman had instructed, I kept an eye out to make sure none of the players at my table were peeking at each other's cards. After the last hand, Mrs. Lieberman pulled me aside and told me she had been watching me and saw much improvement. She then told me that dealers must count the cards at the end of the day to make sure they're all there. She said it would be no good for one of the players to walk away with a couple of aces up her sleeve.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I saw there was a second poker table set up in the activity room, and I got excited. Sure enough, Mrs. Lieberman said that second table was mine to run. It wasn't long before Mr. Matthews sat down at my table and told me he was the newest member of the poker club. Soon Mrs. Patterson joined him and I dealt my first hand. At the end of the afternoon, Mrs. Lieberman said I did a good job, but told me I should keep an eye on my players to make sure they don't look at each other's cards.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Getting some dirt on your lawyer is a good way to encourage her to focus her time and energy on your case and forget about her other clients until you are declared innocent.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Grandmother was so excited when she heard I was going to be running a poker table at the Birch Street Nursing Home that she bought me my own deck of cards. She even showed me her special way of shuffling. I tried it out today while Mrs. Lieberman was on a bathroom break, but am going to have to work on it some more. Mrs. Kunkle and Mrs. Macmillan helped me pick up the cards before Mrs. Lieberman got back.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This has been a wonderful week at the Birch Street Nursing Home. The patients haven't stopped talking about Mrs. Lieberman's spectacular 4th of July fireworks display. And her poker club now includes nearly every single patient. In fact, the demand for a seat at the table is so high that she started teaching me how to deal so we will be able to have two tables going at the same time.

New Mexican Maid Update

Kiddies, we are in the midst of a highly contagious pandemic, which caused me in mid-March to suspend auditions for my new Mexican maid. However, not wanting Winsome Headquarters to slip into untidiness, I've held onto the current applicant since then, not letting her leave the premises. She doesn't have the necessary experience in cryonics, so I will not be choosing her as the permanent replacement. However, she has done an adequate job over all, especially considering that I'm not paying her. As soon as this pandemic is over, I will be accepting new applications for the position.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

There was a happy buzz at the Birch Street Nursing Home when I arrived there this morning. The patients were gathered in the activity room, talking about how much fun they had at their 4th of July celebration. Everyone wanted a seat at Mrs. Lieberman's poker table, not just to play cards, but to congratulate her on her spectacular fireworks display. By early afternoon, nearly all of the patients had played at least a couple of hands, and Mrs. Lieberman was all smiles.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

What a great day at the Birch Street Nursing Home! The patients really put together a fantastic 4th of July party. Mrs. Lowe and Mr. Oliveras organized several fun games for everyone in the activity room, and the patients enjoyed the cookies and punch I picked up at the store. But the real excitement came in the evening, when Mrs. Lieberman announced that her fireworks display was ready, and all the patients made their way outside. Mr. Matthews and Mr. Oliveras even carried Hazel down from her room so that she could enjoy the fireworks along with everyone else. Expectations were high, since Mrs. Lieberman had spent most of the day out back getting things ready, and even skipped the poker game. But what we saw really blew us away. Mrs. Lieberman put on a spectacular display that lit up the sky for nearly an hour. Even when it was over, no one was ready for bed, and it was Mrs. Patterson who suggested a game of bingo. Soon everyone was back in the activity room, playing bingo, and carrying on about how this was the best 4th of July ever.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Kiddies, while right now it might seem that this coronavirus pandemic will never end, rest assured that someday it will. So be cautious about making promises to visit someone once it's over.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home, there was a lot of energy in the activity room, as the 4th of July party committee members were busy making decorations and talking about games they could play at the party. Mr. Oliveras was in the center of the action, writing down everyone's ideas. The patients got so caught up in the excitement that they lost track of time, and today's poker game ended up starting more than an hour late.