Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Yesterday I had the day off from school and used the time to look for a new dress for Mrs. Henley to replace the one I used to put out the fire a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't find one big enough and in a pattern that she would like, so instead I purchased bed sheets with large, bright flowers on them, and will sew the dress together myself. At the Birch Street Nursing Home today, I held a fire drill so that everyone will be prepared in case Mr. Pearlman tries to cook again. It took forty-five minutes to get the patients out of the building. Part of the problem was Mrs. Patterson, who did not want to leave her room, saying that the fire drill was a trick by Mrs. Shimshack to lure the patients outside so she could go in and steal everyone's possessions. Also, Mrs. Macmillan didn't hear the bell I rang, so I wrote "Fire!" on a piece of paper and held it up to her face. That worked. The only one left in the building was Hazel, who wouldn't move from her chair. Forty-five minutes is a long time for a fire drill. I think by the end of the year we can get that time down to thirty-five.

Winsome Family Thanksgiving Message, 2019

Happy Thanksgiving, Kiddies! We here at Winsome Headquarters got a late start on our holiday celebration because I was on a roll down in my basement working on an important new experiment. But now we've had our big meal, and each member of the Winsome Family has said what he or she is thankful for this year. Here is what a few members of the family had to say:

Jane is thankful for relaxed return policies during the holiday season.

Edward is thankful that the dry cleaners were able to remove most of the stains from his Santa Claus outfit.

Cindy is thankful she was able to make some new friends this year, Mrs. Kunkle and Mrs. Macmillan at the Birch Street Nursing Home.

And I am thankful for the growing number of Grandmother's Fanny Game fans all over the world. Keep those letters and emails coming, Kiddies!

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home: Thanksgiving Edition

Happy Thanksgiving! I was able to put in a full day at the Birch Street Nursing Home without fear of missing any of the Winsome holiday celebration, because Grandmother has decided to put off our big dinner until later this evening after she finishes up some special work in her laboratory. Following Grandmother's Thanksgiving tradition, I once again asked the patients what they are thankful for. Here is what some of them said:

Mr. Oliveras is thankful that he hasn't tripped since the fire extinguisher went missing last month.

Mrs. Henley is thankful that this month's fire didn't damage the medicine supply.

Mrs. Kunkle is thankful that she is back on her feet and able to touch all the windows and light switches herself.

Mrs. Lowe is thankful that her son will be arriving at any moment to take her back home.

Mr. Pearlman is thankful that his current guide dog has not bitten him or run away.

Mrs. Patterson is thankful that she has been able to thwart Mrs. Shimshack's recent attempts to get back into the Birch Street Nursing Home.

Mrs. Macmillan wrote that she is thankful she can't hear Mrs. Patterson.

Mr. Matthews is thankful for the brilliant idea he just got for a sequel to his story about Mr. Matthers and Candy.

Hazel, as usual, was not responsive, but I am certain she is thankful for the ray of sunlight through her window.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Henley was wearing the dress I had used to put out the fire last week, even though it now has several large burn holes. I had never seen so much of Mrs. Henley. I decided that I will use some of the money I've made from my job at the Birch Street Nursing Home to purchase a new dress for her.

Spread The Word

If you're a sign language interpreter and are working at a televised press conference, during the less important details tell all your deaf viewers to follow Grandmother's Fanny Game.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today there was a small fire at the Birch Street Nursing Home. I remembered to follow the head nurse's instructions for emergencies and did not call the fire department. I was able to put it out myself by smothering it with one of Mrs. Henley's dresses. Mrs. Patterson says that Mrs. Shimshack was trying to burn her way into the Birch Street Nursing Home to steal her few remaining possessions, but I'm pretty sure the fire was started by Mr. Pearlman trying to cook again.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

Volunteer to work on the holidays, when employers offer time-and-a-half pay. You can explain to your family that you're doing it for the extra wages, not to get out of family holiday activities.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

When getting on an elevator, immediately step to the back corner. Then politely ask one of the other people to press the button for your floor. Thus, you'll avoid leaving your own fingerprints behind.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Walking with a limp will likely get people to hold doors open for you, allowing you to enter buildings without leaving your fingerprints.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, I found that Mrs. Kunkle was confined to her bed. She told me that during the week she had thrown her back out and still couldn't move. Seeing that she was suffering, I offered to go through the building and perform her routine of touching all the light switches and windows for her. She accepted my offer and thanked me seven times. After the third loop, I avoided Mr. Matthews' room and instead went to Mrs. Henley's room twice.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

When digging tunnels under your house, be mindful not to compromise the structural integrity of the foundation.

A Tip For Students

When taking an exam, each time you are unsure of an answer, simply jot down one of your favorite Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living. The teacher will likely be so appreciative she will not deduct any points. She may even give you a few bonus points.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Read all posted signs before dumping the bodies, Kiddies!

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, my list of chores included taking down the Halloween banner I had put up in the activity room for last week's party. The head nurse noted that as long as the banner was up the patients demanded candy. She also told me to put the bulbs back in the lights in the activity room, to remove the small branches from the end of Mr. Pearlman's walking cane, and to take the bed sheet off of Hazel.

Daylight Saving Time Reminder

Remember, Kiddies, daylight saving time ends tonight, so schedule those important activities between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m. You’ll have an extra hour to get them done.