Fanny Mail: An Important Lesson Learned

Kiddies, today I received a letter from Walter Drewniak of Little Rock, Arkansas. Walter writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, after a lengthy custody battle, my divorce was finalized. The court granted me partial custody of my daughter. I was given weekends. Before this, I had always used Saturdays to go to the library to catch up on all things Winsome, since I do not have internet access at home. But Saturday, March 30th, was the first time I had seen my daughter in weeks, and I filled the day with outdoor activities that she loves, and we just never made it over to the library. And while it was wonderful spending the weekend with my daughter, in the days that followed, not having read your wise advice from the dates March 25th through March 29th, I made several mistakes. In fact, everything went wrong. After finishing an important activity in my garage, I divided the evidence. Some I quickly tossed in the nearest dumpster, and some into the tall grass across the street. However, the main body of evidence I left much farther away. Yet it was that main piece that the police found first, the thick plastic bag catching their eyes in the sunlight. And the evidence inside was perfectly preserved. Then, when they came to my house to question me, they found me adding the new photos of my activity to my scrapbook. I got so nervous that at the police station I completely failed my polygraph test. Now I am awaiting trial. I wanted to relate this tale, so that my plight could stand as a warning to others: Don't let anything keep you from checking the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog for updates."

An important lesson, indeed! Sweetie, have your lawyer keep a close eye on the investigation. The police may make some small, but grave mistake during the course of their work, and you'll be able to win at trial on a technicality. Also, if the police haven't already confiscated your camera, have someone dispose of it for you. Because if the photos can't be connected to your camera, perhaps you could argue that you simply found those photos next to the dumpster, where the real culprit left them. And if the photos clearly show the inside of your garage, casually mention that you'd been forgetting to lock your garage door lately and that some hoodlums may have easily gotten inside. I hope you'll be back on the streets soon!