Spread The Word

If you work as a pitching coach and need to kill some time while your reliever warms up, call the infielders to the mound and read them the latest Grandmother's Fanny Game blog post.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work as a baseball umpire, instead of yelling "Play ball!" before the first pitch, yell "Follow Grandmother Winsome!"

Spread The Word

If you own a flower shop, have a Grandmother Winsome Birthday Special tomorrow - buy eleven pink carnations, get the twelfth one free.

Spread The Word

If you own a dry-cleaning business, have a Grandmother Winsome Birthday Special tomorrow - a dollar off each load of pink clothing.

Spread The Word

If you own a bakery, have a Grandmother Winsome Birthday Special tomorrow - 10% off all pink cupcakes.

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living

If an elderly relative has bad breath, simply replace his or her medication with breath mints. The person's health may decline, but he or she will be more pleasant to be around during whatever days remain.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you've been chosen to sing the National Anthem before a baseball game, make a last-minute substitution and sing the Grandmother Winsome Theme Song instead.

Grandmother Winsome Pardons A Cat

Kiddies, in honor of National Cat Day, I've decided to grant one of my test subjects its freedom. That's right, Cat 005149 will be back out in the world, though now without its front left leg, its whiskers and its eyesight. Good luck, Cat 005149! Happy National Cat Day!

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work as an anesthesiologist, instead of having your patients count backward from ten, instruct them to recite their favorite of Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living.

Fanny Mail: A New Fan In Atlanta

Kiddies, I am tickled pink to share with you an email that I received today from Samuel Dodson of Atlanta, Georgia. Samuel writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, a recent employee used to write 'Follow Grandmother Winsome!' in all of her work emails. I had to let her go, but a few days ago my curiosity got the better of me, and I looked you up online. Well, what can I say, but that now I am a dedicated follower of Grandmother Winsome!"

Welcome aboard, Sweetie!

Edward's Ice Cream Truck Ready For Halloween Scares

I've been refitting my ice cream truck for Halloween, and it is now ready for its role as a traveling haunted house. I've cleared out the back and put in some things guaranteed to give young children a fright. But don't worry, I will be right there with them to guide them through the experience, and it's quite all right if they grab me when they get scared. Sometimes I get scared too.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you are a psychologist trained in hypnosis, plant post-hypnotic commands in all your patients to follow Grandmother's Fanny Game.

Fanny Mail: An Update From Tilly

Kiddies, I am delighted to have just received another email from Tilly Parker of Atlanta, Georgia. Today Tilly writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, what a thrill it was to have you answer my email on your blog! I immediately sent links to my friends and family. And today I followed your advice, as I always do, and typed 'Follow Grandmother Winsome!' into the subject line of every work email I sent. Here is a photo of my most recent email."

Wonderful, Sweetie! Keep up the good work!

Fanny Mail: A Fan Spreads The Word

Kiddies, today I received a delightful email from Tilly Parker of Atlanta, Georgia. Tilly writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, I love your blog, and always follow your advice. I do my best to spread the word however I can, and a few weeks ago came up with another way to do so. At the end of each work email that I send, I add 'Follow Grandmother Winsome!' I've included a photo of a recent example."

Great idea, Sweetie! Next time put it in the subject line, since many people don't always read to the end of an email.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Watch those calories, Kiddies! You never know when you might need to squeeze into - or out of - a tight space.