Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #17)

Well, the big night is finally here! All the preparations are finished, and the maid has returned to her normal duties. Have a wonderful night, Kiddies!

Halloween Tip #17: Invite the children that catch your attention back for a late-night awards ceremony for Best Costume.  Tell them you're saving the best candy for the three finalists, though everyone who returns will receive something special.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #16)

I'm quite busy supervising the maid's work in preparation for Halloween, so Edward has agreed to contribute today's Halloween tip.

 
Halloween Tip #16: If you love Halloween and are not legally allowed within 300 feet of children, don't despair. Just find an abandoned house and set up shop there. Be sure to wear a mask that hides your features.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #15)

Halloween will be here soon, and the Winsome Family is making some final preparations. Today's Halloween tip was contributed by Edward.

 
Halloween Tip #15: So that Halloween is as enjoyable for you as it is for the children, instead of dropping candy in their sacks, hand feed it to them. You can even make it a game. Blindfold them, and have them guess what kind of candy it is.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #14)

Halloween Tip #14: Assure any parents who show up at your door that you have not put razors or poison in the candy.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #13)

Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year. And it's my birthday. (For anyone who might be wondering, I would love a new mink coat.) To help you make the most of this delightful day, I am presenting daily Halloween tips.

Halloween Tip #13: If you decide to turn in early, hire a homeless person to give out the rest of the candy. Tell him he can keep one piece of candy for himself at the end of the night. And remember to lock your door; you don't want him inside your home.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #12)

Halloween will be here soon, and the Winsome Family is getting into the spirit of things. Here is a Halloween tip contributed by Edward.

Halloween Tip #12: If you have the equipment, project a scary film on your garage door. To make it even more interesting, edit in some of that footage of the neighbors you've been secretly shooting. People love to see themselves on screen. It makes the Halloween experience more personal.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #11)

Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year.  To help you make the most of the holiday, I am presenting daily tips.

Halloween Tip #11: Telling the children you expect something in return for the candy teaches them the important lesson that nothing is really free.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #10)

Halloween is my favorite day. Like most people, I truly enjoy scaring little children. And this is the one day where that doesn't result in problems with the authorities. To help you celebrate the best day of the year, I'm offering daily holiday tips.

Halloween Tip #10: Instead of using a recording of scary sounds, lock some people in the basement. Their screams for help will be much more frightening for the children.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #9)

Halloween is my favorite day of the year. I'm sure it's yours as well. To help you make the most of this splendid day, I'm offering a series of Halloween tips.

Halloween Tip #9: If you've had a recent death in the family, don't bury the corpse until after Halloween. Allow the family member to celebrate one more holiday with you, by propping the body up somewhere in the yard to scare the children. It will also give you one more wonderful anecdote to tell at the funeral.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #8)

Hi, Kiddies. I am so excited because Halloween will be here soon. It is such a wonderful time, and I am here to help you make the most of it by offering daily holiday tips.

Halloween Tip #8: Tell all of the children who come to your door, regardless of their physical appeal, that they look great.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #7)

Other members of the family are getting into the spirit of the holiday.  Here's a tip contributed by Edward.

Halloween Tip #7: Rather than candy, encourage your neighbors to give out warm cider.  Full bladders and a well-placed camera in your bathroom will allow you to revisit Halloween any night of the year.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #6)

Halloween is the best time of the year (and not only because it happens to be my birthday). This is a time for delightful mischief, a time for eating a lot of food that isn't nutritious, and a time for knocking on strangers' doors and making ridiculous demands. To help you all make the most of this holiday, I'm offering a series of Halloween tips.

Halloween Tip #6: Mix things up this Halloween by using animal skeletons. Cats and dogs are good choices, and are easy to come by.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #5)

Hi, Kiddies. I'm excited because Halloween will be here soon. (For those who don't already know, that is also my birthday, and I am in need of a new mink.) To help you make the most of the holiday, I'm offering daily tips.

Halloween Tip #5: Whenever there is a group of children at your door, give the one with the best costume more candy than the others.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #4)

Halloween is the best day of the year. I'm here to help you make the most of your holiday.

Halloween Tip #4: Halloween is a day when you can wear a mask in public without drawing unwanted attention.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #3)

Halloween will be here soon, and I'm here to help, with daily tips on how to make the most of your holiday.

Halloween Tip #3: Turn your tool shed into a haunted house for the children. Hire vagrants to pose as ghosts and demons. You can pay them with cheap wine.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #2)

We're more than halfway through the month now, and it will be Halloween before you know it. To help everyone, I'm offering tips on making the holiday as enjoyable as possible.

Halloween Tip #2: In addition to candy, give each of your trick-or-treaters a big hug and a kiss.

Grandmother Winsome's Halloween Tips (Tip #1)

Halloween is the best holiday of the year, and not just because of the fact that it's my birthday.  It's a time for folks to be delightfully mischievous, and without having to be sly or secretive about it as is customary the rest of the year.

This year I have decided to offer a series of tips to help you enjoy the holiday even more.

Halloween Tip #1: Remember, real human skeletons are much scarier than those plastic fakes.

This Week's Important Question

Grandmother Winsome's Tips For Better Living: October 1, 2012

If you discover your child likes to harm animals, remind him of the neighbor's dog that barks late at night.