A Tip For Law Enforcement

If you work as a police officer, when notifying the next of kin that a loved one was killed, soften the blow by saying that it looks like he had enough time to read the latest Grandmother's Fanny Game blog post before succumbing to his wounds.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, Mrs. Henley stopped me on my way to the basement door to tell me that three of her four dresses were missing. I immediately remembered I had used her dresses last week to cover the large equipment and the bag of cats while my classmates had been visiting my laboratory. I simply forgot to return them after my classmates were picked up by their parents, and so Mrs. Henley had been wearing the same dress all week. Mrs. Patterson stepped in to say that the missing dresses were proof that Mrs. Shimshack was at it again. I told Mrs. Henley that I would keep an eye out for the dresses. Later when she was taking her mid-afternoon nap, I quietly sneaked into her room and hung them in her closet.

Fanny Mail: A Fan Does The Right Thing

Kiddies, I just wanted to share with you a delightful email I received from Elaine Duggard. Elaine writes: "Dear Grandmother Winsome, the social worker instructed me to read to my daughter every day. Trying to be a good mother, and not wanting to risk losing custody again, I've been following the social worker's recommendation. Just before she goes to bed I read to my daughter a few posts from the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog. It's the most enjoyable time I've spent with my daughter. And this week we reached a milestone – she was able to read a post all by herself! By the way, her favorite Winsome Family member is Cindy."

Cindy's School Science Project

My classmates and I didn't get much work done on our science project at the Birch Street Nursing Home Saturday. In fact, we didn't even pick a topic. So Monday when the teacher asked us the subject of our project, I blurted out, "A model of the solar system." Because I had been chosen as group leader, it was up to me to finish the project. As I was adding the final details tonight at Winsome Headquarters, Grandmother asked me, "Where's Pluto?" I explained to her that Pluto was no longer a planet. Grandmother frowned, but then said, "The spaceship is a nice touch."

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Kiddies, be sure that none of your associates are hoarders. You don't want to run the risk of one of them saving the evidence rather than properly disposing of it.

A Message To Ballplayers

I know that pitchers always hope to throw a complete game. But if the manager takes you out of a game early, don't sulk, for this gives you a chance to check the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog for updates.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Following Grandmother's advice, I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home early today in order to prepare my laboratory for my classmates' visit. I displayed all the standard laboratory tools on the table, but needed to find a way to hide the larger equipment so that my classmates wouldn't get wind of my current experiment. Surprisingly, it took only two of Mrs. Henley's dresses to cover the big machine, and one more to cover the bag of cats. When one of my science classmates asked where my test subjects were, I had to think quickly. "I use the patients upstairs," I told her. At that moment, Mr. Matthews came down the stairs with a tray of lemonade, which he offered to us. After Susie, Emily and I turned him down, he went back upstairs without waiting for Ricky or Ethan's answer. Once he left, I locked the door behind him so we wouldn't be disturbed again. We didn't make a lot of progress on our school project, but my classmates had fun playing with the rubber gloves, rope and scalpel.

Cindy's School Science Project

I was excited about showing my laboratory to the other students in my science group tomorrow, but today Grandmother cautioned me against revealing too much of my work to outsiders. Since I already promised them a tour of my laboratory, I will have to find a way to keep them from seeing the machine I'm using to conduct my current experiment.

A Tip From Grandmother Winsome

Before leading a scuba class in a dive, assure your students that if there are any Grandmother's Fanny Game blog updates while the class is under water, the boat's operator will signal that it's time to surface. You don't want anyone to panic down there, wondering if he or she is missing a new post.

Cindy's School Science Project

Today at school our teacher announced that our class would be working on special science projects. He divided us into groups of five, and told each group to use the rest of the class time to brainstorm ideas. I was chosen as group leader after I told my team that I have my own laboratory and test subjects. I am looking forward to showing them the basement of the Birch Street Nursing Home and my big bag of cats.

A Shopping Tip From Jane

Clothing stores often sell slightly damaged merchandise at greatly reduced prices. So if you find a sweater you like, pull a thread loose before you get to the checkout counter.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today when I arrived at the Birch Street Nursing Home I was surprised to find Mrs. Patterson seated in front of the door to the basement. She had managed to move one of the heavy chairs from the activity room, and was seated facing the door. She had the fire extinguisher on her lap, and every so often would use it to tap on the door. When I asked her what she was doing, she said she was protecting the home from the thieving hands of Mrs. Shimshack, whom she was certain was lurking down in the basement. As long as Mrs. Patterson remained where she was, the way to my laboratory was blocked. But she refused to budge, telling me that it wouldn't be safe for me to go down there, that Mrs. Shimshack might have a weapon. So after a while I went out to the tool shed to retrieve a rake, which I then used to scratch at the front of the nursing home just outside the activity room. When I went back inside, Mrs. Patterson had already moved her chair to face the large window of that room, and was muttering to herself about the devious Mrs. Shimshack. I went down to the basement to work on my experiment.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work at an airport, whenever you announce that a flight is delayed, be sure to remind folks to use that extra time to check the Grandmother's Fanny Game blog for updates.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

Before discussing a business proposition, check to make sure no one in the room is wearing a wire.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Wow, laboratory equipment sure requires a lot of upkeep. Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home, something went wrong with my machine, and it made an awful racket until I added more grease to the chains. In fact, it was so loud that even the patients could hear it upstairs. Before I locked up for the night, one of them asked me, "What was that horrid noise in the basement?" Before I could answer, Mrs. Patterson chimed in, claiming the noise was caused by Mrs. Shimshack trying to dig her way into the home from below. I did not bother to correct her.

A Tip On The Use Of Cryogenic Tanks

Kiddies, if you are going to freeze your football players in cryogenic tanks to keep them young between games, be sure to dress them in the proper footwear. You don't want them to emerge damaged, especially if they're locked in a long-term contract.

Grandmother Winsome's Legal Advice

If you are a surgeon, refrain from hiding evidence inside your patients. An infection could develop, and it is likely the evidence would come to light.